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Heaven & Hell



Under the heavens and under our cities,

lay souls that have been damned without pity.
Many are evil and others just confused,

most started off clueless or were once abused.

Left without remorse they haunted humanity,

then were swallowed up by hells gaping cavity.

For now they will never escape hells flame,

now riddled with guilt, now feeling shame.

Hidden from the world underneath our ground,

if you listen closely you may hear their sound.

Above the earth surface however heavens lay,

where Angels sing and lost children play.

The touch of peace and tranquility lies,

within these fluffy plumped up skies.

Between these two places we live life,

with good and bad, pleasure and strife.

Choose your place to stay for the rest of time,

whether it be torturous or truly sublime.

Author notes

Just what came to my mind, hope it sounds OK.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • NickRhyme silver member
    January 29
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    Amazing poem


  • echo-ink
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I don't personally believe in eternal torment, but I thought you did a great job with the poem. thanks for entering and good luck.

    PL

  • Bob Fox
    July 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    interesting write

    A love how you played your words to the picture and those places Heaven and Hell. Are we truly inbetween though. I do love dark writes.well done young poet.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, it makes you think. You are so right, you're time in between is what you make it. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.


    whisper


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I like it very much, sissy.


    Nice pen you have there.

    Much love,
    Mark


  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great symbolism and contrast here. I absolutely loved the idea of mirroring two opposite things.

    Thanks for your entry..

    ~Raymond~


  • Blue Rew silver member
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have wondrous visions here in these lines...
    contrasting two opposing sides of "afterlife".
    The scenes painted really draw the reader in and you have a very strong ending with the choice to be made. I do note your use of "hell" twice and felt you could use a different word here 'For now they will never escape hells flame' such as:
    Never to escape damnation's flame'
    It's a personal thing with me...I try not to use the same words to describe something and so I tend to view works in this light and offer suggestions to that effect. But, truly...you have done a fine job here and I wish you good luck with this entry! Blue


  • sharkofdhoom
    May 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nicely written, and it has an excellent flow.
    i really liked these four lines.
    "Above the earth surface however heavens lay,
    where Angels sing and lost children play.
    The touch of peace and tranquility lies,
    within these fluffy plumped up skies."

    good job and good luck.


  • -Ink Artist-
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful! This is well written and full of emotion. The contrast between good and bad is ever present. This piece has great imagery and the flow is smooth. Lovely work! Thanks for your entry and good luck!

    ~Lori


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    February 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm, this is something grand i mean that and this pic, i like how it looks like two worlds, you did a great job on this keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • tawk gold member
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow your poem touched me so deeply, it brought tears to my eyes. Such a powerful write! Good luck in the contest


  • Hell In Harmony
    February 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Babes.
    I loveee what you interpeted from the image!
    It was something SO different then what I would have thought of
    [Wich would have been a piece of crap]
    I thought it was strongest towards the begiining and very end.
    Goodluck in this contest Hun
    Keep the ink flowing

    Kat

1 - 12 of 12