An ancient center of learning,
On banks of the river,
Disciples debated on mission of life,
As river flowed serenely,
Wetting all life on banks.
River descended from summit,
became bigger as it stepped down,
lower it drops,
bigger it became,
Until it sped fast into sea.
River teaches a lesson,
A leaf or two out of it,
For a serious disciple,
Whose thoughts turn to river,
to live like a river,
descending to liberate,
and flow into blissful ocean,
instead to ascend ,
to struggle and perish.
River touches life,
after everything flourished
and perished to oblivion;
River took on its stride,
kept flowing,
for life to flow ever.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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River touches life,
after everything flourished
and perished to oblivion;
River took on its stride,
kept flowing,
for life to flow ever.
these lines are beautiful..... -
I really liked your poem and it was really well writen. You are a great writer. Great job and keep up the work.
Lindsay -
very good
River descended from the the summit,
became bigger as it stepped down.
Lower it drops.
bigger it became.
Until it sped fast to the sea.
I liked thsi stanza very well. Not to offend I changed a word or two. I sensed a bit of a bump.
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Wow, this is such a good poem. "River touches life, after everything flourished and perished to oblivion" I LOVE that line. This poem has great flow, while reading it, I feel like I'm going down a river as well, which is quite neat.
I especially like this poem because it can be read and enjoyed without having to think too deep, and the words are soft and tell the story of the river -
This seemed to be teaching something of life this was really great it drew me along to each line waiting for th next and then the next. The meaning here seemed much deeper then you can see in the words. Thank you for sharing this with us it was great.
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Every stanza has become by every other stanza... Perfection!!! This is truly a poet's soul written into with the fingerprints of a natural writer's true heart and every beat that sustains what that life has been all about. Genuine.
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Amazing
it was an amazing topic,though it was not very discriptive,but i got the main idea and point of the poem.i like the way you used the river as the learning space that the poem was takling about.the poem makes me feal in touch or woven in with nature,it makes everything peaceful to me when i read this poem.i usualy go outside to draw or write(becauce i draw anime and manga stuff)even though im not witing about nature,nature has a
amazing amount of sucurity for me,i feal more at home in a grass feal than in home.
liked your poem cant wait to see more of your works
maddie
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