Anxiously awaiting the unknown,
I pace the room like a caged animal
Searching for an escape from my sterile existence.
My clouded mind frantically racing,
I huddle in the corner.
Then it begins...
The rockng back and forth, to and fro;
The voices tell me to do it...
"Run head first into the wall!" they scream.
"No, I don't want to! They'll come back for me!
The people in white will come back for me!" I retaliate,
Then it happens...
Darkness...
I lay on the floor of my padded prison
In a pool of crimson.
The orderlies surround me.
"Get her on a gurney! We need to stitch her up! NOW!"
Then the darkness overwhelms me again.
Quickly rushing down the sterile hallways
To save a life that doesn't wish to be saved,
The orderlies seem desperate...
Author notes
Story-telling free verse.
- Comments for All group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Do You Deserve To Be In My Favorites? by Random Lily.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - whatever II by leander.
575 points, ended November 16, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is a very sad story and hope that it's not true, only something that you thought of from your creative mind, besides it being sad it was a very well written poem. UNT
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lol
I'm glad that you enjoyed this write. It isn't a true story, just something random I came up with one day. Thanks for the comments and applause!
I will return the favor soon.
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Really, the imagery that you have captured within the lines here and the metaphors that go with them are absolutely fabulous! You have done a great job with this.
Thank you for entering this contest - I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
A very interesting poem. I like the style you have and the way you write this story, kind of unattached. Good job and good luck in the contest!
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Ok that was interesting wont say it was good for me but yeah got the first part of my comment when I was still keying it in....Now back to your delicious poem moving into the dark and I love the dark side of poetry...again yur imagery played out the movie playing in my head. To be in that place where you want to be and having someone keep dragging you back it dont work like that without a lifeline...brilliantly penned and thank you for the pleasure...sorry about whatever happened before...damn wanted to add the clappy people
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Line 3 is very good. Great word choice!
I love how you actually add dialogue into it.
The poem is very powerful.
Good job -
I do like the imagery of the title. You set up the atmosphere in the first stanza drewing in my attention witht the title fresh inmy head.
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