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The End

A hug embraced my soul,

rainbow waterfalls cascaded

into my life

through your smile,

bathing me in your beauty.

 

Maybe because lately,

the sun shone so brightly,

do i find myself

shielding my eyes

from the darkness within you.

 

Once blinded by light

lit up on the screen of my dreams,

the devil flicked a switch,

plunging me into eternal darkness,

yet still

 

          i love you ...

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 47 of 47

  • Hebz
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love you too, i mean the poem,lol.

    Thnx for entering & Best of Luck : F

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • Wolfsister
    August 20, 2008
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    Light and Dark and still you love...Beautifully done!


  • Wind 03
    August 18, 2008

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    a smile :))

    touching and deeply written..well done my friend!and how you still ended it with i love you...touched my heart ...very sweeeeet

    juliet


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love blooms and then softly fades leaving a broken heart to bloom...your words flow with a tender sadness and lay heavy upon the heart...niaish my friend for sharing with me

  • celadia
    August 11, 2008

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    Oh, at first it's so lovely and fresh about love, then suddenly there's the devil, making things difficult but still you love, it's eerie at the end, a twist and a surprise, it's something that most people can relate to.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008

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    Wow; you have expressed beautifully how love can overcome such barriers. To still love after falling into darkness, is true.

    Wonderful write!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Rose Angel gold member
    August 8, 2008

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    What a masterpiece of a write! Your imagery, your contrasts, the emotion and the ending are one short power surge of light and dark in love and you have done it in an amazing fashion! Bravo!


  • Genesis
    July 29, 2008
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    I love the imagery and the general flow of your poem.
    Thank you for sharing.
    --Genesis.


  • splinteroflight.
    July 29, 2008

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    :')

    this poem is amazing, you've captured the feeling of love so amazingly
    well done on an amazing write
    xx


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    July 29, 2008

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    Nice job. I know the subject well. I have had people close to me who changed from angels to demons. It is hard to get them out of your life.


  • Riamh
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    lovely

    A hug embraced my soul,

    rainbow waterfalls cascaded

    into my life

    through your smile,

    bathing me in your beauty.

    I love this!


  • pen-inhand
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The ying and yang of things I suppose. You've shown light and darkness. This is a well thought out pen, with much emotion showing through. A job well done. Hugs, Kelly


  • snuggles72106
    April 25, 2007

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    wow, that's really good so helpful that comment was right? hahaha. anyway- it was beautiful, especially the first few lines


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 18, 2007

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    Wow ~

    Metaphorically speaking, this is an

    incredible write ~

     

    I had to ponder this after 3 reads....and then

    it fell into place and settled into my heart ~

     

    I loved everything from the picture to the Theme ~

     

    Wonderful grammatical choices as well my Friend ~

     

    I'm surprised it didn't even get an HM ~

     

    Hmmmm....

     

    Well done,

    Bear ~


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This piece is beyond beautiful. It's one of those pieces which reminds me of why I became a poet. I'm not sure if you have experienced that moment in time when you truly become aware of the fact that you are a poet, that life is a poem and you've been chosen to write about it but I have and it's pieces like this which, in my opinion, make people realize their true powers.
    This is an amazing piece of artwork, and Love truly does conquer all.

    SLAM.


  • Beautifully-Broken88
    April 11, 2007

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    Wow

    This is amazing!
    you have such amazing discriptions i love this part
    "rainbow waterfalls cascaded

    into my life

    through your smile,

    bathing me in your beauty"

    Its truely beautiful yet dark at the same time. You should be very proud.



  • Gwenevere
    April 5, 2007

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    How I loved the first two lines.Not that I didn't enjoy the rest of the poem but they were amazing.wonderful poem to touch the heart, Ros


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    April 5, 2007

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    Such a bittersweet and fantastic heartfelt piece...

    simply lovely and a joy to read..
    thank you for sharing

  • PalmettoSky
    March 29, 2007

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    now why would anyone go through all the trouble of leaving such a mean spirited review on your poem? you know you can delete it.

    Please don't pay that any attention. Your writing is yours and it can be whatever it is to anyone else who reads it. Keep that ink flowing. I'm a fan!

  • A Light Glows Pale
    March 26, 2007
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    i do not like your poem. it is sacharine and maudlin. you write as if you have been alive only four seconds.

    A hug embraced my soul,
    rainbow waterfalls cascaded
    into my life
    through your smile,
    bathing me in your beauty.

    no one who has loved or ever felt love can believe in the authenticity of your expressions. why do you not speak to us honestly? what is in your heart? what pain do you want to reveal? give us more, so taht we can cry with you. this is not poetry. i do not know what to call this. this is emptiness upon emptiness cascading into a well of nothing. pump life into your words.


    • BeautifulSecret
      April 20, 2007
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      You obviously know nothing...this piece is full of heart and passion and gentleness which is extremely rare in this world. Maybe you should take heed young fool...

  • self expressions
    March 20, 2007

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    Wow- nicely written. You capture the intensity of the beauty of love and equally its capacity for darkness and pain- yet, the risk is still worth it and love prevails. I like it.


  • CherylAnn
    March 15, 2007

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    Beautiful Write

    a feel of deep love thrown into turmoil.Revealing that Love doesn't die easily.You words flow so beautifully through the whole write that love just overpowers ones soul.
    Awesome
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~

  • Gogetalife
    March 14, 2007

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    This is beautiful poem, to find love and light within the darkness is not an easy thing to do..but only great souls can get to that..you did a wonderful job with this piece my friend, very well expressed, best of luck
    AJ


  • Ms Raneika
    March 8, 2007

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    this is a vert beautiful poen the sense of the format you type it and the background...great write thanks for entering my contest much love, Raneika


  • Gwenevere
    March 1, 2007
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    A beautiful poem.To see the light within the darkness and to still find love.wonderful, Ros


  • HerbalGoat
    February 28, 2007

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    amazing

    This is a beautiful piece, Gd66uk. It's very deep with the loving emotion. If dug into deeply, your poem also spreads an inspirational light on love, and that no matter how dark and depressing things get, always love them. Keep up the amazing work.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    February 27, 2007

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    combination of emotion

    awesome piece said. well written full of emotion, hope after losing the one you love, or shall I say, no lost love, no letting go. Powerful. This has touched me deeply for I had been here many a times. Yet as there is darkness, light will prevail....i hope. Well done friend. keep up the great work.
    Vsutton


  • pattyann4500
    February 26, 2007

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    Very sad, my friend. Life goes on, whether we wish it to or not. This is a wonderful piece. Hugs, Patricia


  • RedAquarius
    February 26, 2007

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    Cannot have light without dark, vice versa. I firmly believe must embrace both, or frankly, life would be boring. Really excellent write.


  • slipperssun gold member
    February 25, 2007

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    this is a great write about how we can still love someone even through the darkness of the past... well done on a fantastic message... the flow is awesome and the imagery is great.
    cheers
    Jen


  • panegyric ink
    February 25, 2007

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    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!this is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is a poem that can only amaze every reader, very very publishable in my humblest of opinions!!! You are really a master of expressions and it further shows in your very latest!!!!!!!!


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    February 25, 2007

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    I know about that switch the devil flips too well.
    Great write. I reckon this will be something a lot of people can relate to.

    Jeannie

  • PalmettoSky
    February 25, 2007
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    very nice. this was so heartbreakingly real and raw. I know that I was definately able to identify from past experiences. Through it all I detect a light in you that hasn't been dminished. You'll rise through this ocassion and many more...and be a better man for it. thank you for sharing this write. I look forward to reading more soon. peace and light, kp


  • aliceramone
    February 25, 2007

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    excellent dark write...I love the ending...I sense thae inner battle of good and evil...you are quite talented...thank you for sharing


  • dustookie2
    February 25, 2007

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    The good and dark of life or love... we want see the good in the one we love but we ll have a darker side an it is in this dark side of a person where love can do the most god....the demons come forth n when they are too much we fold. I lie the way you allow thee reader to put their own twist on your words. This is a beautifuly penne poem and a pleasur eto read. Good luck in the contest ...yeha breaking my rule but this post is well worth it.


  • honey bear
    February 25, 2007

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    ooh i love this! still we dont like to see everything do we, we spend half our life being blinkered and the other half turning a blind eye


  • Matthew OMeara
    February 25, 2007
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    Lovely piece! It's fuckin' beautiful - my only suggestion would be to leave the "i love you..." in the fifth line of the last stanza, but that's your call. Either way, it's a well-written poem, good job!


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    February 24, 2007

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    Deep conflicting emotions in this piece : very much like love is sometimes.. though I refuse to let anyone take me to hell. Still, I understand. This is a very well written piece. God bless. Debby


  • Whoochi gold member
    February 24, 2007

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    soooo bittersweet and heartfelt my dear....Time heals and then there is no more darkness only beautiful sunlight flooding your heart and soul with luvly memories...thanks for sharing...and ya know where to find me...raw emotion flows from this...good job...good luck!


  • Sandygram
    February 24, 2007

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    Ah You poem is so heartfelt. I can so relate to how you feel. Only time can let us stop loving someone. I do hope the sun shines on you and you smile again soon. Always here if you need to talk. Your poem was quite lovely and sad. Thank for sharing your feelings with us. Take care, Sandy


  • JoyfulWriter
    February 24, 2007

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    WOW! So beautiful but with a little jolt of melancholy...but dripping with wonder. I so enjoyed this my friend! Smiles, Terry

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