“Why, ain’t you a pearl!!” I grinned at my girl,
leaping out of my old ford truck.
This was our first date, and I was quite late,
to myself I cursed my bad luck.
Standing at her door, she was surely sore,
none too impressed to say the least.
Yet this path to ruin wasn’t all my doin'
so I set out to tame this beast.
“C’mon don’t be shy, we had better fly,
we’re already running behind.”
“Just shove the dog over, he answers to Rover,
or any name that comes to mind.”
“Yes, Son Of A Bitch is fine, it’s his name and sometimes mine,
but just who were you speaking to?”
“Yikes!, you screamed again, please let me explain
why I’m three hours late on you.”
I opened the door, at Rover I swore,
“Get down or she will catch your fleas.”
She sat in the middle and started to fiddle
with her hair done nice as you please.
I had to talk fast for this date to last,
longer than an eight-second ride,
so faced with the truth and being thought uncouth,
I smiled my best…
and I lied.
“It’s like this”, I said, as onwards we sped,
Rover drooling on her new dress.
“It started out fine, I had plenty time,
but what happened you’ll never guess.”
“As I drove to town, I seen her broke down,
so I stopped to lend her a hand."
"A mother to be, who’s in dire need,
now how could I leave her a’strand?"
"That mother to be was glad to see me,
I arrived not a breath too soon."
"I delivered her child out there in the wild
underneath that big ol’ full moon.”
"All alone we were, out there, me and her,
and a newborn just off the road,"
"and though I am late for this our first date,
what an honour I was bestowed."
A smile soon appeared where once I had feared
teeth of a she-bear lay lurking.
My girl cuddled up to me and my pup
so I knew my tale was working.
She started to warm, as I laid on charm
and I salvaged my date somehow.
And if truth be sought, I didn’t lie a lot,
that mother to be...
...was my cow!
Author notes
A true story, with a little poetic license thrown in. The dog's name wasn't Rover...altered to protect the innocent.
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Make a Poem that Rhymes by Diggs McGee.
460 points, ended March 19, 2007, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All the cowgirls shakin' their sassafras ~ Holler Back ~ Down Home Poetry (open now to PWs) by Xianaria.
900 points, ended December 7, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Daisy by ea.
700 points, ended January 24, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Think you're FUNNY?....like haha FUNNY?...or FUNNY like a clown?!?!!? by AtlantisGrave.
550 points, ended May 14, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Excellent
What fun. Great read, humor was outstanding and the flow was easy on the mind.
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Oh I can see this happening , you made me laugh out loud. wonderful
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A funny tale...
in good rhyme. It always makes a more interesting read. It puts a rhythm to the poem that moves it along. There are a few bumps in the road but for this piece, it add charactor. Enjoyed it.
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haha, i loved the flow of this poem. I really think that with a good flow a poem is just so much more fun to read. And what a splendid tale you wove, truth or not, I love stories contained with in and this one definitely made me chuckle aloud a few times.
Thanks for enter and good luck in the contest!
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Omg i was rolling ! didn't even finish the poem before i busted out laughing.
my favorite part was "“Just shove the dog over, he answers to Rover,
or any name that comes to mind.”
“Yes, Son Of A Bitch is fine, it’s his name and sometimes mine,
but just who were you speaking to?”
But now as for the lie, i cannot believe she fell for a line like that!!.Oh my this was wonderful. thanks for sharing this!
-Mandi
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LOL I enjoyed this so much. Thank you for making me laugh today and congrats on the golden cup.
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Typical cowboy 'tall tale', I've heard a few myself, always ready with a bald-faced lie to keep the gals in line..
And it don't say much for us that we always fall for them, hook, line and sinker! 
Well done, and congrats on gold..
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Poor lass, you sure gave her a bum steer.
Congrats Rory, great yarn
Playing midwife to a cow isn't as much fun as whelping your own kids into the world; but it sure beats vet bills!
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For this, thou shalt be awarded the golden bucket.
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the dog is not innocent
he is an accessory after the fact...Ha! Great poem, loved it...had me in all the way. I thought I could use this excuse next time...but I do not have a cow!
Well done.
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Thank you for entering ~
Nicely done, quite an enjoyable read.
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haha, i absolutly loved this. It's hilarious. A guy actually did something like this to me once. Really good write!
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haha thats a winner.. Loved it. good rhyme and rythem.
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Obviously that guy and gal are perfect for each other. I’m seeing lyrics here with the melody arranged in such a way that the words could be seen as more smooth flowing. Yeah. I can see this might be a true story. Good work.
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wonderful!
I really enjoyed this! Having lived in Wyoming and done my share of calving I could really imagine this happening! lol
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this was wonderful. a very charming piece. thanks for the entry.
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LOL poetic this is wonderful, I was smiling to the very end than I busted out in laughter, but so glad you could be there for your cow! HAHAHHA
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this is hilarious it makes me think of my daddy whos nickname i might add is Larry the Cable Guy lol this sounds like some story he would tell me of his and my mommas first date even though its nowhere near how it happened he just likes making people laugh lol good write.
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This is excellent. Great ending. Loved it. LOL.
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It just doesnt get any better than this. Absolutly perfect, what talent you posess. Thanks for such an enjoyable read. :-)
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omgosh this is GREAT. lol made me laugh and smile. loved it!
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funny, funny, funny.
great job.
a couple of spots are rough, but it's still good. i almost didn't get past the part:
"So faced with the truth and being thought uncouth,
I smiled my best…
and I lied."
cause I was laughing so much.
great!
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Too Much!
Oh I did get a chuckle out of this one. Excellent tale told in verse. Smooth flowing and truly FUN. A pleasure to have read this today. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Brilliant
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Haha Brilliant..
Now I know where to come when I want a good giggle..amazing imagery and great rhyme bouncing along in this hillarious write...a man with a great sense of humour can get away with just about anything..
Loved it Rory.....smiles*...Dee
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This was such an enjoyment to read....i found myself giggling....I sooo knew it was a cow even before i read the end..maybe its because I was born and bred in Kentucky (no worries, I have all my own teeth!) I cannot think of anything to change this....would be good song...lol
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On Fire!!
You are simply on fire lately, Love the stories, the lingo and the spirit you put into each piece you pen. You are such a talent and sheer pleasure to read! My pleasure once again this afternoon ~Tia
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Rory...you got style!!!
I was so left giggley by this poem. I think I may have dated some guys like this long ago, cause I remembered as I read this story all the times I heard these "tall tales". You were the perfect gentleman I must say! You couldn't leave a lady in need...no matter the species!!!
A very enjoyable read!
Azlyn
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What a great one...and oen I have heard myself a tiem or two..some things jsut have to come before play. A Rancher's daughter, a farmer's daughter, just seems to know to expect such. thsi rides liek a rocking horse. Great write.
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Ohhh, Cowboy...You're somethin' else, my Friend...Hell, I'd have waited & not been (too) mad atcha...'sides, after a story like that one, who could resist???
Grand penning, Poet...
Wanda
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I love this poem. As my husband and I used to live on the farm. Being late sometimes happens with cows... I like how it flowed. I love the imagination you used. Awesome work
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Now you are just what i need right now but that girl must have been rather impressed to wait that long ...now i would have been long gone an having a good time damn hate getting all dressed up with nowhere to go...but you spin a good tale and it made me smile when in my heart i am missing the one to whom i gave my heart....great flow as you with your talented touch of style ... even if you were late... Thank you for the pleasure and the smile on my lips
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LOL... too cute this is Rory! Ummm.. sorry it's a true tale though... can't help but see the humor though... forgive me...
This is well written, love the story poems that you write... I find them rather entertaining and well... the way you write has a certain charm. By the way this reads, you worked hard to make it just right... and it shows.
Well done on this one Rory! Love it!
~Melissa
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This is cute. I like this as much as I like cowboys, especially cute ones in tight jeans! I will have to read more of your poems because I really liked this one! _ADOM
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This is me giving you a standing ovation, I love this one!!! I was immersed in it from start to finish - and the end - too cute!!!! I love your cowboy poetry.
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