On the eve of destruction, death awaits.
Spreading malice and pain.
Stealing the souls of those who hate.
Through darkness, you find yourself slain.
Spreading malice and pain,
in a twisted path of death.
through darkness, you find yourself slain,
unable to breath, holding your breath.
In a twisted path of death,
falling victim to your own demise.
Unable to breath, holding your breath,
inside is a demon you can't disguise.
Falling victim to your own demise,
stealing the souls of those who hate.
Inside is a demon, you can't disguise.
On the eve of destruction, death awaits....
Author notes
option 1
written in the pantoum form
In a list
A contest entry
- APOCALYPSE-- END OF THE AGE by xblakxrosexremainsx.
525 points, ended November 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Dark and Sweet
The description of feelings and sensations was amazing!! I could feel i was there. I loved the topic. I wont lie i had to read it a couple times to get the full it, but once you read it you find the mystic and amazing path of the vision you're discribing. The rhyme was perfectly melodic, theres only one part i would change "Unable to breath, holding your breath," i wouldn't repeat the word breath, but it still was a sweet melody it flows right and it seems not to be forced at all, very natural. Its a very different and wonderful piece.
Thanks for entrying this very dark piece and Good Luck in the contest. I appreciate alot <3
SCORE
1. Description 16/20
2. Spelling 10/10
3. Vocabulary 12/15
4. Flow 8/10
5. Imagery 11/15
6. Topic 6/10
7. Rhyme 18/20
TOTAL: 81
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WoW...I can feel all the anger and pain you have in this piece. Its so powerful! Everyone has theis own demons to face! And some scarier then others. THis is sucha great write!!
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Well this is good, you have used your fav form again, i'm glad you found something you liked
Elizabeth
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this is quite the dark write here brother eve of destruction is it man's fate???? I am thinking it is
and yes we all have that demon within but alas it doesnt have to control us well done my "form" brother 
love and light,
Blaze
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wow thats in intense and morbid write... i think we all have demons inside us just waiting to pounce. fantastic write
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