Funeral for A friend

Why is it that I, simply let you slip away?
Were was I, to save you that faithful day?
It seems that I am the only one that is to blame.
Seems I am the only one to take the shame.

If I was there to catch you before you fell.
It would be a different story that I could tell.
If I was even able to catch you when you dropped, to cushion the fall.
I could stand here, at this very day with my head held so tall.

Instead of me coming to your rescue and seeing to your needs.
I was busy undermining my own morals and followed false leads.
I could have been your angel; I could have prevented your pain.
But instead I watched love’s shadow, play it’s own twisted game.

I watched you slowly die, and slowly lose all your defences.
I never even warned you, about all love’s false pretences.
I simply hid from the claws of love’s dark nightfall until I saw it was day.
I never stayed with you all night, to make sure no harm came your way.

But as I sit here and mourn your death and ponder over my cowardice act.
I cannot help but extracting comfort from one very well-known fact.
You would have never accepted my helping hand even if I was there anyway.
You would have pushed me away, as you think u know best in every single way.
So in reality there was nothing I could have done to save you.
You where to far gone, to pull you back through.

So now when I ask myself why I simply let you slip away.
And why I was not there to save you that faithful day.
I am able to give you the answer I seek myself, justify my not being there.
You would not let me save you, you where deaf to the truth you’d hear.
So I know you will forgive me, for my error and your mistake.
Hopefully I will learn to live with what I couldn’t take.

But for reference sake, this is my only solemn apology that I am able to actually tell myself
Because even though I saved the fighter in me, I was unable to pull though my other self.
So I’m sorry for allowing a part of me to die and wither away.
But I still do remember and mourn myself until this very day.