As they lie awake in bed,
Visions of what we’ve seen together
Slipping through their heads.
Bless their tiny bodies, Lord,
And caress their little hips;
But if you would, Lord, leave it to me
To kiss their supple lips.
Their innocent eyes are closing, Lord,
Their innocent ears can’t hear;
So watch my little children, Lord,
And hold them, ever dear.
Forgive them of their sins, my Lord,
For it’s done on my behalf;
Even though they smile throughout,
And oftentimes they laugh.
They know not what they do, my Lord,
And for that, I am to blame;
So write me down on the sinner’s list
And gently erase their names.
Last (and least) forgive me, Lord,
For the things I do and say;
But every time I'm with them, Lord,
I’ll bow my head and pray.
For though I never hurt them,
And Lord, they never cry…
I know that I am looked down upon
As evil in Your eyes.
AMEN
~*~
So close those beautiful eyes, my girls
You have no reason to fret;
For though He may not like what we do,
He’s promised to forget.
Author notes
So this nudged it's way out the other day. The pervert in me just squealed with glee, and I've got to admit... I really like this. Don't judge =)
I imagined a man saying this, about little girls. Don't know why, but I just can't see a female doing this... Maybe it's just a creepy guy stereotype.
At any rate, only one line really stuck out to be just too much, the one where he refers to touching them. Maybe it's just me?? =)
Share your thoughts kids, I'm really interested.
Does the wording sound okay? Too many "Lords"?
Comments
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I'll leave character judgments alone. The poem has a very anguished tone, it has this incredible feeling of regret and desire to be forgiven, a really disturbing and horrible and yet incredibly honest poem, it was disturbing yet good when I get past it. That said, the topic is pretty horrible, but those are the ones worth writing about.
Peace,
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So close those beautiful eyes, my girls
You have no reason to fret;
For though He may not like what we do,
He’s promised to forget.
Amen indeed ..your words are just wonderful and amazing with the sentitity of the depth and with the sentitity of its impact..God is touched by the hands of your so beautiful and warm words time and time again and that touch is transferred to us through the wonderful impact of this write..Thank you so much for writing this piece for us..well done..
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WOW I AM CONFUSED i frist read this thinking about my kids but nice job on it dont worry i wont judge you

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Whew!
It's written very well and you don't have too many Lords in it, it adds a softness to the poem. I don't mean to judge, it's not my place but I will share the feelings you left me with. Anger, the wish to take those kids away from you and show the authorities what a monster looks like.I thought the person doing the molesting is soft hearted and weak but a monster all the same when they continue to molest. Most molester are. If I stole and was sorry for it but kept on steeling it would still be steeling. The prayer is to remove the childrens names off a list of sinners and put his or her name in it's place it's sweet and shows remorse, even sacrifice, then later this person asks to be forgiven as if to say I'm weak. And the list is a book of life, not sin. Then asking the Lord to leave the kissing of their lips to him is almost as if to say I still want and will do this to them. And the assurance in asking for forgiveness because it's promised in Jesus's sacrifice for us leaves me thinking that this person says I'm sorry I do this but you'll forgive me anyway if I ask so I can keep doing it without worry for my soul. This poem says it's not the children's fault though, that is an exellent message and true no matter their age or if they enjoyed it, after all the body does have senses and the likelyhood of a molester being able to molest little children without making it seem like a game wouldn't let the molester get as far for so long. I also get a sense of mocking to Jesus. The molester used Jesus's sacrifice to ease the quilt the girls started to feel so he could keep on molesting them. This is well written but even the devil was an angel and beautiful. -
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Thank you for the thorough comment! I really appreciate that you included how it made YOU feel, it really helps me understand how the words affect other people, which is a large part of why I write. In that aspect, I'm glad you got the feeling that he is weak and struggles with controlling his urges, while still truly caring about the girls and showing concern for their eternal well-being.
I didn't expect your second impression - that he used Jesus as a fall-back, so to speak - and I appreciate you opening that thought up to me. It is true, I suppose; many people sin and ask forgiveness in Jesus’ name, and use his sacrifice as they please.
It did occur to me that the true "Book" is of Life, and not of sin, but using the authentic reference would have been fuzzy; it would be assuming that he was to be put in the book of life before this particular sin, and that the girls hadn't sinned otherwise. That, and (if I remember correctly) your name isn't written until after you die? At any rate, I squirreled around with it a bit to make it come out (more) correct and make sense.
Yes, I do hold fast to the fact that it isn’t the child’s fault, regardless of the fact that they may enjoy it, or consider the person who does it a friend. There are many forms of rape that are enjoyable, because one simply cannot control the pleasure felt by the body, regardless of what the mind thinks of it.
Again, thank you so much for the comment.
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Very Thoughtful
I enjoyed the entire piece, and I thank you for sharing...
Bless the little ones, my Lord
As they lie awake in bed,
Visions of what we’ve done together
Running through their heads.
Bless their tiny bodies, Lord,
And caress their little hips;
But if you would, Lord, leave it to me
To kiss their supple lips.
Their innocent eyes are closing, Lord,
Their innocent ears can’t hear;
So watch my little children, Lord,
And hold them, ever dear.
Forgive them of their sins, my Lord,
For it’s done on my behalf;
Even though they smile throughout,
And oftentimes they laugh.
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You've definately picked an interesting topic and point of view here, but you've carried it off well in this wonderfully written poem. All the best ~z
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This is so Great!!!!
I really
'd reading This!!!! Great Alliterations and Great thoughts that you have so well penned for us here dear Poet!!!
!!!!!!!!! great Job!!!
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The subject is interesting... It was a thought-provoking theme. I don't think that line was too much, however. The whole piece is over the top, so it's meant to be there, I think. Not too many "Lords" either. I like it the way it is. ^^
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He has already forgiven and will continue to do so as long as we have taken him into our lives this was a realy good write I enjoyed it very much.
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So close those beautiful eyes, my girls
You have no reason to fret;
For though he may not like what we do,
He’s promised to forget.
Amen Inded my friend...so innocent and so sacred journey of the words here brining a kind of the peace over the muse of the readers...a great poem is here...The beauty of this write lies in its simplicity here with a great touch of universal beauty as well.. a great poem is here...
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No Comment
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The wording's fine... There aren't too many "Lords." It's a prayer, after all. I'm not sure I particularly like the message in this poem, but I shall withhold judgement, because no one is without sin. It's certainly well written for what it's trying to convey. I wouldn't change a thing about it. Poetry is a lot like acting... Your job as a poet is to convey some point or emotion, whether you believe in what's actually being said or not. You've clearly done that here.
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guilty
this is actually really good. the suppressed rapist in me giggled the whole way through... while the inner mother in me beat the sh!t out of the inner rapist....

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it's very good, darling
well written! not too many "Lords"
the only thing, as you said, that is a sad poem(in my mind anyway) but i love it all the same.. tis very good
love u dear!









