I put on a dress and ran....
A broken mind seeked across
the fogg for its lover's lip
but in the corner of its soul-
witnessed it kissed another
(the night spoke as it flip
the page of one lady's life)
I put on a dress and ran
ran across the feild of night
in escape for nothing
as my soul grew a mole
in aridness. My life
was written sincerly in hurt.
Oh how life can be a short
riddle of how lucks will
be in jewlery boxes but
soon they will be taken
---away...
away it left,
it left my heart...
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 60 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seeping Tears, bleeding Fears by fairytalelovestory.
975 points, ended March 19, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"(the night spoke as it flip
the page of one lady's life)"
I loved those lines! This piece is beautiful, and felt like I was watching a girl run in her dress. Feeling free! Good job on that!
Btw - you misspelled field in line 9. -
to escape the hurt in a feminine way (the dress)is so creative. I saw the message on the second read and it was sad but so so creatve thought
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sad, but ultimitaly good. it's amazing someone you love that much could ever hurt you that bad. but time & time again, they do. & nothing you do gets rid of the pain of losing him..definitely a great piece. i could really relate!
-lys
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Beautifully written. Type error field. Keep writing and sharing. Kindest wishes
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One line ...
... stands out ...
"My life
was written sincerly in hurt".
Speaks volumes!!
Other than the typo in line 9, "ran across the feild of night", it's a tremendously well-thought out piece.
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This is a good poem.
I like the line:
"I put on a dress and ran
ran across the feild of night
in escape for nothing
as my soul grew a mole
in aridness."
You have a cool style. Keep it up.
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Sounds so familiar... but anyways Hey what's good? The line is busy cause the phone ain't workin right at my aunts. Whenever it is, then I'll get at you or when I get some mins on my phone which will be n about march the 7th. or sooner. I'm sorry, I know you miss me and I kinda miss you too. LOL, but anyways, yeah, Don't hink that I'm tryna avoid you, I just can't speak to you right now because of some technical difficulties.
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