Vibrating
with anger
and shivered tense.
Tepid
brought to a boil.
Stressified
as knotted nerves go numb.
The edge of explode
lures the leap.
Red faced focus.
Stern look of contempt.
Leering jest.
Harsh words
pry
and provoke.
Blood pressure pounds
pushing venom through veins
as
loss of control is breached
Cool,
calm and collect
are made cast-aways
and feelings ferment
causing drunk-like delusions
riddled with rage.
Author notes
Twenty five lines.
A contest entry
- Bee-Yah! by The.Stars.Go.Blue.
425 points, ended April 3, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Are You Feeling? ((PRE-WRITES ALLOWED!)) by A Murderous Lament.
390 points, ended April 28, 2007, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blank Cheque by sca.
777 points, ended November 1, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
So far, I think this is the one that I've read that I liked the most, as far as poetic quality goes. I just think you should concentrate LESS on that poetic quality and more about conveying your actual thoughts and feelings, and blah blah blah.
-
omg, you did an awesome job of portraying anger. This is an in the moment, detailed description of the physical aspects, and emotional aspects of anger, hurt and pain.
-
Wow, so angry...very strong emotions rocketing through this poem and packs a real punch in the last three lines, gaining momentum as I read down your lines...I enjoyed the overall dazzling display of wrath...
~Lilac
-
Yet another well expressed writ ein few words. A wonderful look at rage and what it really is.
Great reading, always a pleasure. -
A good expression of rage. Powerful choice of words. Good alliteration and assonance.
All the best,
Charishma
-
The build up of anger is certainly in these lines - sentiments well expressed in these words you have written - easy to read and understand. Enjoyed the brevity of the lines and the great way you expressed these feelings.
-
Tim, The anger radiates from these staccato tempo released terse words. I can almost visualize the veins in the forehead throbbing with a radical pulse. You have expressed anger very vividly. Well done.
Dennis
-
what a fantastic image of anger this piece portrays. It takes a man to produce so much emotion in so few words, LOL, a woman would have taken another hundred or so. Well done sheltered and by the way, I'm not angry!! Val
-
Fascinating
A very in depth look at anger. I know so many angry people and this describes it so very well. God bless you, Mark
-
Excellent description of anger. Very good imagery, flow and tone. You paint a vivid picture of growing anger. Very good word choice. Nice alliteration. I can definitely relate. A well crafted piece.
-
-
Thanks Shelly. You can relate too eh? Why is everyone so darn angry?!!!! Hehehe.
-
-
Twenty-five lines of sheer brilliance my friend! A job MORE than well done on a subject matter I so can relate too lately...
This is fabulous writing! Best wishes to you in this contest!!
~Melissa
-
-
Thanks Melissa everyone seems to be able to relate to this as of late except me.
-
-
You spared nothing in writing this awesome piece! Very good word usage which left me awed....so very well done here! Smiles, Terry
-
-
Thanks. I like the new picture by the way and your revamped profile.
-
-
very good
nice one sheltered, excellent word usage, well done and good luck in the contest,
floorboards
-
-
Thanks man.
-
-
oh my..
i like this piece very much. your feelings come across clearly. very good use of words. you're very talented.
Great Job
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
