Scattering spellbound in search of this utopia
Minds-eye in shortfall dissects one's monopoly
Through no choice of own approach it sloppily,
Exude to a position such promised, Ethiopia-
As the diminishing dream on landscapes ensemble
The probate illusion of Queen of Egypt's daughter
Who proceeds through this escapade of slaughter
And who am I forgiving one or either? I tremble.
Having reached two thousand years without absorb
Of having travelled miles, indeed was bronze;
Such ghastly size these statues, long lost sons
With indications seen through my crystal orb.
Precious filling educated, siphoning the syllable
Retracted.., words of larger scale were of faith
Those who muttered sounding, Queen Merneith,
-Alluring dynasties as Anedjib's was, as a fable-
Engulfed over as subsidiary benefactors cannibal
Over some archaeological find, for at the centre,
No godly size can interpret that this magenta,
Haze of gross sufficient was the alluring spectacle.
Expedient gauge eclipse this as the inferno;
And making this voyage with the help of a globule,
Whose crystal awareness has forgotten the rule,
That language hosts devise quoted, 'quid pro quo'.
Author notes
Who he saw adjacent to this place was a traveller, Anedjib, a first dynasty king of Egypt.
ETHIOPIA SHALL SOON STRETCH OUT HER HANDS UNTO GOD'S. (Ps. 67:31 68).
This witness affirms the earnest prayer of Ethiopia, which was based on her impeccable faith in the Almighty God. Even among the people of Israel, the Ethiopians seem to be more dear to the Almighty God than they. For example, Amos, the Prophet, bears witness of this truth, when he says: "ARE YOU NOT LIKE THE ETHIOPIANS TO ME, O PEOPLE OF ISRAEL?" (AM. 9:7).
A contest entry
- Mission: Difficult III by shewalksintomine.
1200 points, ended March 8, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I thought this was an excellent entry and congratulations on the gold trophy.
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I have no idea how you manage to weave such excellent and elegant poetry. You sure delight the readers with your talent..all the best in the contest.
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I think that you have done a fantastic job of incorporating the word bank here. You've told a wonderful story, and used an extremely challenging word bank. However, the poem sacrifices nothing for the bank which is an admirable feat. Thank you for entering the contest.
Please don't respond to this until after the contest. I am co-judging and would like to keep your entry anonymous. Thanks! --->pixxie<--- -
I absolutely love this write Tony, but then again I love all your writes, as you pen with a sophistication that touches me poetically in many a diferent way, I am quite taken aback by this one, as it just melded with me in such a beautiful way, Bella
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To be quite honest, this was an absolutely fantastic write. To write an (seemingly) historical piece (accurate OR inaccurate) and make it work is one thing. To also incorporate the difficult vocabulary words I listed is something extraordinary.
Having said that, and I hate to be a stickler, I specifically asked that you not rhyme 'magenta' with 'placenta'. You also used 'faith' but you got around it by not rhyming it with 'wraith', from the list. I guess I never said that you couldn't use lines without my words, so I'll let that one go. But as far as 'placenta' goes, I'm going to ask you to omit that line or change it somehow. I really hate to ruin a work of art such as this. I mean it. I'm sorry.
Please don't respond to this comment until after the contest so that I may be fair in judging. Thanks for entering and good luck!
_k -
Magnificent
I really love this piece. As usually your flair for excellent vocabulary and smooth flowing lines have captivated me. The imagery is solid here, as is the story line of the piece. It is strong and speaks volumens. Awesome job!
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WowWeee
you expressed and worded this with style...very well worth reading and enjoyed the write..hope you move forward with this piece..good luck MM
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i absolutely loved the rhymin style here. the flow was excellent. it was a pleasurable piece to read.
you have entered a very interesting contest, looks to be quite the challenge. good luck with it.
til
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very well done!
this was a dificult task I think you did a great job!
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very interesting write, beep, and edacational titus
you did well with the rhyme of tougher words and should have a decent showing in the contest. two small things that font is tiny 
and did you mean to have the extraa space beteen 3rd and 4th lines of last stanza? all in all a very enjoyable read
love and light,
Blaze
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