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sweat

musk
mortar
stone sweat  
cellar deep

you
spin
weave
fiendish
secret cloth

in the name of the Lord
chastise body naked

pool of piss
mirror image
wets floor
you step
bare foot
caution

worms tunnel
slim steel

shackled
corpse

brain cell
sweat
.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • PhantomsAngel87 Greeters member
    March 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This creeped the fucking hell outta me ...

    Impressive !!!!

    • thinking
      March 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting. Yeah, it creeped me out too! Guess I had to get it out.

  • Shiro Okami
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Again, very good.

  • Shiro Okami
    February 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is not tagged as 'Adult' content, and will have to be DQed unless this has changed by tomorrow. Sorry.

  • Shiro Okami
    February 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's good. Simple, yet imaginative. Well done.
    • thinking
      February 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. Also thanks for catching the tag sorry about that, my bad.
1 - 6 of 6