Crawling slowly,
the sun creeps pass the rosy horizon.
Where is it going so carefully?
I wonder where has the time gone-
Is the hourglass full yet?
Gleaming slightly,
the morning's moon dangles from the blue.
When will the stars be out?
I seem to be wasting my time-
Is the blood still dripping?
Whistling lightly,
the wind sounds the first alarm.
Who is screaming so loudly?
I can no longer lie still-
Is the alarm still ringing?
Flickering quietly,
the fire paints a crimson image.
Why are there whisperings?
I wish to see another day-
Is the ambulance here yet?
Author notes
Inspired by the song 24 by Jem
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hmmm...i like the poem in general, but it feels more calm than insane to me.
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From this I get the impression of someone's mind drifting off, of intense confusion. A very interesting poem, thanks for entering and good luck.
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well all together its a GREAT poem. powerful.
but really its not as dark or sexy as id like. but maybe i can make an exception
cause i really like this one. great job and thanx for entering. good luck!
*hugs* tay. -
this is great. good luck!
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wow this was a really intense feeling write
i think you used your words quite powerfully but not at their full potential yet
its full of quiet despair. but theres a litte bit of hope there that makes this poem, all the better
thanks a lot for your entry
cheers -
This is a very nice write thank you for shairng it with me and adding it to the contest. Best of luck to you
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love it
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This piece was painted with magnificent imagery and was quite unique. You possess a lot of talent and potential as a writer, for the viewpoints seem to change from the beginning to the end. You threw me off towards the middle, making me perceive that this piece was what a person was going through. I also loved your personification of the wind whistling. Keep up the great work, thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest!
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