I wait for him,
double meanings as I speak,
love could be not more grim,
he is the only one I seek.
I am impatient at times,
its true of me,
and not even silly rhymes,
can replace the one I see.
Of what I can stand,
I am done with guys,
who are immature and,
make me want to turn my eyes.
As each day by day,
I cant help but try to catch,
a glance his way,
I want over this rough patch.
Cupid has pierced my back,
and has left me alone,
love cut me some slack,
as I still wait by the phone.
I wait for him,
double meanings as I speak,
love could be not more grim,
he is the only one I seek.
Author notes
cait and kylie: You know!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Oh, i'm sorry i missed this kenzie...I pretty much said what i need on your other comment on your journal write thingy....but i'll talk about the piece....
It's very nice, I like the short stanzas, and your rhyming is getting better....and your words make people think...everybody is impatient, curious, and we all around here write to get out stuff, you aren't alone on that....but you realized this about yourself, and that is you too.
I know cupid has kind of become your enemy at the moment...and that sucks, but since he has caused you so much pain....one day, hopefully....he'll give you some1 that'll make you feel all better
lol, anyways, this is a nice, piece, lol love it.
~Ky~
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This is cool. I like the flow of it. My favorite line is "double meanings as I speak." The whole human language is so complex and beautiful, that sometimes we don't even realize what we're saying at first. I liked that you repeated the first stanza at the end. I think that gave it a little something extra. Bravo.
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Very Good
I feel your yearing
We all seek that magic love
I wish you well in all your endeavors
Rick
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Kenzie,
This is your best piece...EVER...I can't wait to read your next one. Looks like Billy's got you inspired, and that's not a bad thing if it makes you write like this!!!! *Applauds and cheers loudly* Your writings and poems have always been so unique and so relatable and so emotional I can feel, relate, and identify to each piece. That's true talent, Makenzie.
This piece shows, or at least what I got from it, that you're sick of waiting by the phone, just waiting for him to call. This also shows that you really care about Billy. But do one thing for me, don't be like me and waste your time waiting for a guy to call, call him, at least once. I'm not good at that stuff, lol. You're one of those girls that if Billy doesn't see that you're great, he'll eventually lose you. But if you really really like him, like what I get from some of your latest pieces, you need to make a move and call him or ask him out or something. Maybe he is the guy you've been wanting for as long as I've known you, you'll never know unless you ask. What I've learned from life so far is that sometimes, you just gotta jump without thinking, and hope for the best. I think he likes you, though, his body language and everything else says he does. So, just give it a shot.
My favorite stanza:
"I wait for him,
double meanings as I speak,
love could be not more grim,
he is the only one I seek."
This was fabulous, and I love how it was not only the first stanza, but also the last and in most cases when you do that it ruins the poem, but it really tied this piece together to make it all the more fabulous. Fantastic work!!!!!
Love you like a sister babe!
- Cait -
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I love this poem it was very touching. It expressed so much and it also says everything that you can think of...
I really love your poem, it really lets the man you wrote it for know you really love hIM. keep up the good work!!!
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