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alive (gasp in the dark)

it was a gasp in the dark,
opening similar to heaven
and rustling like stars in blankets.
(and, for just a moment,
I was alive)

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • blanketstatement
    February 27, 2007

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    That's exactly what it's all about! Well said, and succinctly you captured the awe of the moment.


  • Scandalous Beauty
    February 26, 2007
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    Interesting. Was this your first experience?


  • GossamerAlice
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    I love this! I am NEVER a fan of short poetry. But w.o.w. you said so much in so little! The last lines are so beautiful! I don't get much of a picture; but the emotion and feeling it projects is nearly overwhelming. This is simply amazing.


  • g r e y i s m
    February 24, 2007

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    I loved the third line, as well as the ending in parentheses. Anasuya is a good judge.
    Excellent expression with so few words, quite impressive.

    Best wishes...
    Lea


  • sheltered
    February 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Pure sex for sure

1 - 5 of 5