Move your body, lose yourself,
stay in step and time
With the blaring music of the bass.
You feel it pulse throughout your being.
Just dance, dance,
Dance
The night away.
Author notes
Jeesh, a limit of ten lines is hard. xP But I did it! I don't have much experience with 'upbeat' poetry but...would this qualify? lol
A contest entry
- Short & Sweet and Really Upbeat {Edit} by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended March 13, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Upbeat or...no?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I feel like dancing! Really great!
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This does qualify, however, I'm a beat weary of your set-up for it. My restriction was: had to be more than five, 10 and/or less lines - not that it HAD to be 10 lines. May I offer the following revision of your poem:
"Move your body, lose yourself,
stay in step and time
with the blaring music of the bass
You feel it pulse throughout you being
Just dance, dance,
dance the night away."
The above revision still qualifies for the contest, and it's a better format for the poem, which provides a better read of it as well. -
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Yeah, you're right ^^ I forgot about the 'more than 5 less than ten' part. ^^; I revised it, but not exactly the way you suggested. I still left one 'dance' standing alone. Thank you for your helpful advice.
Good luck with the contest 
~Oreo
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Second one I have read about dance, but it has to be my prefered subject in this contest. I guess thats because they are so without pretense... anyway, nice job here. Best wishes in the contest.
Good luck in your future works.
~Das -
I like it, lovely short verse and in my opinion it qualifies 'upbeat' very well.
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Nice poem. Short and straght to the point. Love it. Good luck in the contest.
Laila
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