Silent tears stream down her face
Running as though she's winning the race
Where is she going?
What is she doing?
She doesn't know
She just has to get away
Collapsing she falls against a tall tree
Sobs let lose, but she still isn't free
Convulsing she shakes
For the years she's been fake
No where to turn
She needs an escape
Later, resigned that nothing can change
Thinks its all out, but still she feels strange
Getting up and facing the sun
She once again begins to run
Finding the ocean she jumps right in
Momentarily forgetting that she can’t swim
Fighting with all she has to stay afloat
Wanting, needing to find that safety boat
Gasping she takes in water
Realizing, begins to falter
Did she find her escape?
Or nothing but another prison?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Oh my goodness!! I love the metaphor of jumping from one "prison" to another. This so true. In my head I was thinking, "come on girlie you can do it! jump in the ocean and get away!" and then I read the line "forgetting she can't swim" and my heart sank. I think so many people feel this way and you did an astounding job capturing it! And the rhyming was very nicely done as well! You should have much pride in this piece. It's wonderful.
love
broken -
Wow this is really good! It has a good rhythm and it's something that everyone can relate to. We are always running away from something and when we do, we tend to become a prisoner to something else. Keep writing!
-
Stay Afloat
You are young & talented. there is much for you to do. & besides I enjoy your poetry.. lol
-
WOW AESOME WRITE
wow. this is GREAT....i LOVE the way you write. you are an amazing poet. your words never fell to blow me away. you put so much emotion into your work and i love that also. you are awesome. no one could say it better. i have nothing here left to say. amazing never let your talent die.
-
dark, indeed, my dear...but done in such a way that I think it could mean somehing entirely different for everone who reads it. For me? the times I've berated my self tot he point of obsession over my mistakes, my masks...
Hugs for you! Love you!
Karen -
This is very good, if not a little ... dark. But that seems to be your thing lately. Hopefully now that the Minacs reign of terror has ended, you'll feel more like yourself again. However on the other hand, you've got some good personal expression out of it. I really liked the imagery in this, but then you know how much I like image-laden poetry. Love ya!
Jermer
-
speechless
i am speechless. give me a minute to compose myself.
wow. amazing. i love it. its really great. very well worded. great job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
