Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Nicole

I had this girlfriend I once knew
She shot me dead in the Heart
I knew then two years were untrue
My life then began to depart


She was my everything
I gave her my soul
Now she wasn't anything
I am Alone in this hole

The darkest pain had set in
I tried to forget and just live life
Life had stopped and started to spin
My heart bleeding with a knife

All those feelings all that bliss
Love as deep as the Atlantic
That whole two years so painful to just dismiss
Now my heart drowns like the Titanic

 

As days went by I felt so numb

I lost my very first True Love

My heart beaten like an ageless drum

I was drowning with no intention to rise above

 

She laughed and said I cared to much

I crawled out from my dark hole

Mustered up courage in the clutch

Looked her square in the eye and said Fuck you Nicole

 

 







 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • wow this is very deep and emotional...i know thew feeling here


  • Romanee
    October 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how this is more than just a poem, this is a story, it reaminds me of some of the poems I've written E, Candy, Heroin Child, Anna, if you want you should take a look at them I think you would like them.
    I loved the last verse, after all the pain shes caused he finally has the courage and the strengh to tell Nicole how he feels, superb, I'm definitly book marking you, keep it up, Romanee, xx


  • SammyJo
    May 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    o i'm so sorry about that but at least you stood up for yourself and everthing ... i understand whats it's like to loose one of you true loves because it happened to me .... but you need to know there is also another true love for you incase you loose the other .... just be strong and hang in there if she left you she was crazy cause your a great person so don't feel bad and all shity just go with the flow ... remember you can get through this .... if i did you can too. but this is a great poem it really goes with the flow and everthing .... i love it absolutely love it... *gives you a great big huge hug* fell better .....


  • XxXxSilentXxXx
    April 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Very good, thats a awesome write, Sorry you had to go through all that, must have been hard.
    Excellent!

  • BloodTearsDrop
    April 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I know what your going threw Davi! I'm sorry that this happened to you!! and I hope you know that the next time you need someone to talk to I'm here for you!!
    I huggles you, and this showed a lot of emotion good write!

    Crystal


  • Kleyda14
    April 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I think you should try to record you poems into rap songs I know I would listen to you.


  • La Tua Cantante
    April 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey uncle Davi. This is a awesome write! I have to say my favorite part is;
    "All those feelings all that bliss
    Love as deep as the Atlantic
    That whole two years so painful to just dismiss
    Now my heart drowns like the Titanic"
    I'm sorry for your loss of 'Nicole.' You seem deeply saddened by it. Good luck in my contest.
    -La Tua.


  • Lord Belial
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey great work man, sorry this happend htough, i know how ya feel... anytime you need someone to talk, hit me up PEACE!!!


  • Child of an Angel
    March 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like it, especially the last line, thats how you do it. Learn life is so full of pain and when u get hurt, just say fuck you. Loved it Dave, the bitch didnt deserve u anyways Love Ya!


  • SouthernSexGoddess
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! So deep! Can't say I know how you feel but hope you don't have to go through it again, kid! Great write though!


  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    The River Runs Deep....

    "Now my heart drowns like the Titanic".....
    Wonderful metaphor honey....
    Sharp pain shown in this piece....


  • katiekills4
    March 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is really good

    I can only imagine how you felt


  • Calamity Soul
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Reminiscence the pain, that one lover’s strife
    Your love for her is now painful as a knife
    Till morrow comes and go again
    Your time will slowly heal you in ascend

    Your days must be
    Filled with grief and despair
    Ripping the heart like no one to care

    But time has passed and it shall be replaced
    With the renewal of a graceful smiling face
    Without a doubt, greater things will slowly come
    By chance, you will find another better woe other than Nicole, in her place

    For now, friendship like me, is here to listen,
    For better, and the worse that has happen.

    Best wishes and regards,




  • Elizabeth883
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh dave, I am so sorry that nicole did this to you. Esp. since I now know the background story. Look Dave, she might have been your first love, but you def. DEF deserve better then her. Please hon, do not let this girl, this immature lil punk, ruin your future relationships. You are a doll, and a great man. The poem is sweet- and your love for her was true... but sometimes things just dont work out.

    I really REALLY love the stanza about the Titanic, strong thoughts and I know how hard they can be to get em out.


  • PolkaDot
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, thts so horrible...Im sorry hun. This was great though,I mean its kinda old school in the field of emotions, but you kinda know me, I like old school! This was my favorite paragraph:

    She was my everything
    I gave her my soul
    Now she wasn't anything
    I am Alone in this hole

    I love how easily that flows. Great work, and Im really sorry. Its just those females...

  • GabbyAbby
    February 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow that was really great! im going through the same thing right now, maybe you can help me out a bit.. well anyways that was like one of the best poems ive read, keep it up!
    -abby


  • FlipperSwitch
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very expressive. I love the last line, overcoming what kept you down is very impressive. Great write, thank you for entering.


  • daruvial
    February 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    hahahaha

    I'm sorry if the ending wasn't supposed to be funny, but it was awesome anyhow. keep it up

1 - 18 of 18