Left out in rain to drown,
Trickled cheeks and
Smothered sorrows,
Cascade combined with tears
Faceless eyes remain,
Tears of rain, and rain at tears,
Only to smoulder when
someone loved
Switches on a light
Stand alone, staring back
Through eyes that can not truly cry,
Stare until the curtains are drawn,
A swoosh of material, a flash of face,
And now alone
Although the light shines on,
It does not shine for me
or for you.
It simply curls around the corners,
impartial as a light can be;
Tantalising,
Mocking.
Wilting mind,
Becoming one with the carton
of takeaway that nobody could eat
Mind united with the love worn soft toy,
lost when its child grew up,
and the resolute clang of twisted steel lid
Replaced the smothering kisses
And the tears it would catch in threadbare fur.
And still it smiles on; stitches remain,
Curtains swish, faces vanish,
'Til late at night the light goes out.
And still I stand and stare,
Rain plasters me a hat,
lifeless hair, limp and wilted.
Shrivelled flower from my grasp,
merge with mud, clear as love.
You were my light; my guiding star,
But you burnt out.
Author notes
faceless eyes; windows
rain on them; tears
When Bunnies Attack the inner sanctum of other fluffy things"
A contest entry
- AP Best of the Best Season Three Preliminary by B Chandler.
300 points, ended March 15, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I really like this. I can't think of anything you could change about it. The words are sort of haunting, or perhaps haunted. But it stuck in my head. You chose excellent words to get your point accross. Bravo.
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Although the light shines on,
It does not shine for me
or for you.
that is my favorite line!
im sorry i havent really been commenting back things have been busy
but i want to eventually read and comment everything you have
This is a very very nice poem I like it a lot -
Beautiful. Gorgeous. I absolutely LOVE it. my favorite lines are, 'You were my light; my guiding star,
But you burnt out. ' GORGEOUS! <3 -
My mind is reeling from this, I can visualize so many things here. I love the images, if you can create a work with pictures people can envision then you get it across to more people. Interesting and thought provoking. Good luck in the contest.
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Painted in words with many moving images, and stanzas like verses of a mournful song -- dirge for a lost love or lost friendship...
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Well Done
Beautifully written and expressed. you filled this with emotion and amazement. such a plethra of the reality of pain and loss. Great Job.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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