Dad, I'm writing this to tell you that I love you
But I can't let go of the things that you put me through.
You left without a simple good-bye
You said that we would be just fine.
You left when we needed you the most
And of this you seemed to boast.
You left your children all alone
You left your wife to the unknown.
Don't you know that your the hatred in our heart
That our suffering you did start.
Do you know that your the tear on our face
That in our mind you have a place.
How could you have caused us so much pain
But for this misery you will gain.
Some years passed and there was no sign of regret
It seemed like you all did forget.
Do you know that you where never there
That to us this wasn't fair.
Tell me, could you hear your children cry
Only a monster could have remained dry-eyed.
What will happen when your new family falls apart
Will you remember who was there from the start?
Just remember when you need some help
That you turned your back to us as well.
Just remember when your sick in bed
That you proclaimed us all dead.
Just remember when your all alone
That we were there all along!
Author notes
This is about resentment held at a father for what he has done to his family. It shows how hard it is to let go.
Option #2
A contest entry
- Tell Me How It Is! by Luna Darling.
505 points, ended April 2, 2007, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want to join the AP family of the century?? by Pixie Girl.
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Silver trophy winner
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450 points, ended May 17, 2007, 123 entries
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500 points, ended June 3, 2007, 14 entries
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550 points, ended June 3, 2007, 8 entries
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300 points, ended August 9, 2007, 13 entries
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hurt. by Naridill.
550 points, ended August 16, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Just remember when you need some help
That you turned your back to us as well.
Just remember when your sick in bed
That you proclaimed us all dead.
Just remember when your all alone
That we were there all along!
just remember dad for life is hard -
Very beautiful and sad. The words hit hard and I can relate but never wanted mine back, I guess thats the difference between monsters.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck.
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great write
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There are some gramatical errors but other than that, I liked this.
Good luck in the contest. -
aww, such an emotional piece here! well written and thank you for your entry! xxx
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Tragedy and so sad. You did a good job espressing your feelings. Thank you for entering the contest.
I wish you Good Luck. -
i'm bookmarking this! you did a great job of making a story into a poem. very well written, interesting..beautiful. i love all the emotions! great job!!
thanks for entering and good luck! -
well let me put it simply:
IT'S WONDERFUL
i really liked how you didn't break it up into stanzas and the ryming flowed well and didn't sound forced, i can tell this is from the heart good job! please join my family at the AP family of the century not the milenium because none of us will live that long
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Heart wrenching
Well for 14 you can surely write. I'm in awe.Thank for te read and keep writing
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I can sure relate to this poem. I am 34 and still fighting for a relationship with my dad. The most ironic aspect is my dad and I are so alike--this should help us to get along better, but it does not.
Sometimes, it is best to let go, although, when it is a parent there is a natural bond of sorts and we the children of divorce, or adoption are left with an empty space, a life-sentence to feel longing for something we have always wanted, "just to be loved back" Nothing more, and nothing less.
I wish you the best of luck. Writing will help you and maybe one day when you are a published author, your dad may read the words you have worked so hard to write.
The way you wrote this poem was terrific I wouldn't change a thing. You are an awesome writer, so please do not limit yourself to just poetry; however it is one of the toughest genres in writing.
This is the first time I have ever given advice such as this, so I hope you don't mind. I know that you want to become an author and I felt the passion in the words you wrote to me in your comment about becoming published. If you need help in anything let me know. I have a lot to learn myself, but we can trade knowledge that my friend is freedom! and it is FREE!
Tips:
Take a short-story class, fiction, nonfiction, learn how to write a poetry review, or an essay about a literary work, learn how to write a book synopsis, a prologue, an epilogue, or an introduction, take a film writing class to develop dialogue writing skills, and above all, read everything you can get your hands on, from the past great writers to the new and upcoming authors like Poets: Terrance Hayes, Gerry LaFemina, or Lynn Emanuel, and Lyrical Memoirist: Steven Kuusisto, “Planet of the Blind” and Lee Martins Pulitzer Award Nominee, “The Bright Forever, “ and who could forget James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces”
Just keep learning and your dreams of becoming a published author will become Your Reality, Your Dream, and Your New Life, one that will allow you the opportunity to help others, and make life long friendships.
Gosh, I love writing.
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this is so well written, wonderfully expressed... I feel such hurt, loneliness and sorrow in this poem... It describes well the feelings of being betrayed, of being left alone, without a goodbye or a good reason.. how much it hurts to never a soory, or to feel any kind of regret... very, very well written.. so many great lines, so well worded, so much for anyone to think about.. great job!!!
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A very powerful write filled with emotional termoil. It is sad when families are split apart and one of the perents forget they have a responcibility to their children. I see this all to often now days and it is all to easy to do. I personaly have a friend going through this right now and her children seemed to have give up on everything. All her X has said is why are they like this. do these perents not relise that the children still need contact from both sides of the fence. If this was the case then the bitter feelings would not be so bad great write all my best wishes good luck in this contest Brian.
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wow thats deep. i can feel the anger and the feeling of being rejected. thats is wonderful.
cookies for a beautiful emotional piece
~Effigy~ -
I feel for this, deeply. Simple writing, but it speaks.
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Very sentimental write. It is impossible for me to fathom leaving children like some people do. It is so important to have that father/mother combination to solidify a family. Good job with one. Your poem has mathching rhyming couplets except for lines 3 and 4 bye and fine don't rhyme. Otherwise great job.
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Deep and Emotional
This is very deep and postively straight from the heart...It is sad how some people can easily go through life with no regrets of what they left behind or who they left behind. I have a friend who basically gave up her children due to her love with drugs and the hi life...My sister has adopted the little girls now and everytime I look at them I feel so sad and hurt for them, because all they know is that mommy loved partying and drugs more than them...I hope that they are able to overcome this and able to lead happy fullfilling lives...Resentment is a very sad emotion because the more you hold back is the more you are not able to let go and move on. I have learned through my life experiences that instead of having regrets or resentments that I am going to make something positive out of this negative and apply to to my life...I will not make the same mistakes they did and will not repeat the history of those who hurt me...If there is something that I gained from this experience is that I will not allow my children to endure the same pain and will do everything in my power to ensure that they don't!!!!
Great piece -- keep up the good work!!!1 -
So sad.. Hope its not true... If it is, im sorry... You did a great job on writng this poem though! Its a horrible thing when fathers or mothers forget about there own children...
Good Job!!!!
~*~ Erin~*~ -
strong sincere write of the sadness of a love - hate relationship. its hard to completely let go of one who was in your life as a parent and yet, when they disown the child it seems only right to do the same. Great write.
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Awsome Poem!
I can really relate with you cause my Father and I are also so distant. I have a huge resentment for my Father as well, so I can really see where you are coming from.My Father has distroyed my family and has nothing to do with his own Grand Children which in a way I am glad that he does not so that he can not hurt them like he has alway's hurt me.Keep up the writeing you are doing a wonderful job.
LoveSpell-PurpleRose
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...yeah.
i like this.
i can feel the pain, girly.
nice write.
Peace && Blesses
~Rain
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WOUNDERFUL
I know how it is. My dad don't talk to me either but he don't talk to me because I'm bi-sexual and he believe I'm a disgrace to humans.
You really have some talent.
Keep up the good work.
I would appreaciate it if you would read/comment some of my writings
Thanks
- Lisha Dawn
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Hmm
A strong write full of emotions, I feel the pain, the crying out of sadness and abandonment. It is hard to let go, you love him with all of your heart, yet you cant forget the things he did, because they have impacted your life forever. Just know, what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger, very old, and some say lame, but a very true line. Wonderful write and thanks for sharing. Keep the pen flowing.
Always
Emily
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