He is like quicksand,
Pulling you under.
Out of my grasp,
I wince in pain.
Trying to hang on,
Not wanting to let you go.
Author notes
Eh dont wanna talk about it, unless I say something to you about it, and I know who will be there to listen.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I'll be one of those people.... I hope
luv always dani -
Actually this is one of the best you have written
This one takes me by surprise, I suppose like getting pulled in to the quick sand.
I wonder...
Yes, it makes me wonder. -
good poem
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Why is it good, Sasey child?
Be so kind as to share your inner thoughts. It doesn't cost you anything, other than a little effort and time, a few moments of it.
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hmm
short, but very good -
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Why good, Utica dear friend?
This is the chance for you to express what you like. What DO you like and why?
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Mysterious.
We need more.
What is this? An allegory? A riddle?
Is this a disease? a rival for romance? a demon?
There is a subtle anapestic rhythm here. You do have something, only I think it needs to be lengthened. Just i.m.h.o.
Will, would you consider re-reading this and doing some author's notes? Pretty please with real cane syrup?
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