your memory
ice skates down my cheek
on teardrops kissed of winter.
blades of what we could have been
etch portraits of regret for the ever-hungry zamboni of never will be
which shall erase our ice-time together...
like water on chalky slate.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow, I really liked this, though to be honest those first two lines were so creative, powerful, and expressive, that I would have liked them to stand on their own as a poem. However, I do really like all the images in here. Nice parallelism between "could have been" and "never will be", too.
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eh
not your best. some of the imagery is pretty forced.. actually it seems like it's all forced. the word zamboni should never ever be used in a poem. now, i really like the very last line. it, more than the rest of the write together, conveys emotion.
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