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Thump, Thump, Thump

Thump, Thump Thump,
I can hear it coming closer,
It's closing in on me,
Bearing down,
Thump, Thump, Thump,
My heart is sure to stop,
I can't do anything,
But sit here and wait,
For what is sure to be a terrible fate,
Thump, Thump, Thump,
"Did you hear that?
It's almost here,
We'll all die for sure."
But you don't hear it,
And neither does she,
What the hell is wrong with me?
Thump, Thump, Thump,
It wasn't just me,
Surly it wasn't,
Because there it is again,
And this time it's closer...

Author notes

Kinda retarted, but I'm not good at writing to a theme. It also describes my anxiety and how I feel it and others don't andsome never will.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    April 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done :D


  • Never Fall in Love
    March 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It probably is hard to write to a theme
    and Im glad that you did try writing anyway
    You've done a pretty good job
    I dont see the rhyme happening much
    but thats okay
    thank you for entering

    NeveR ♥


  • Manic Panic
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice job

    Retarded? Definately not. This is a great piece of writing. It can be hard to write to a specific theme, I agree. You did a very nice job with this, though. Your repitition of "thump, thump, thump" keeps the reader interested in the rest of your piece, and helps maintain the flow of the poem overall. Great job, keep writing! Good luck in the contest. Thanks for entering.
    ~Manic


  • sans-amour
    February 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely penned, short, but very rythmic... not bad.
    Zach


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    February 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    TooxSadxForxTears

    I, personally, don't think this sounds retarded.

    You have used good reptition to keep the flow going in a short and seemingly simple write yet there is a deeper meaning behind it all ...

    Excellent write !
    I wish you the best of luck in the contest
    Stay safe
    ~Amanda


  • my savior-pedro
    February 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i'm osrry. i can help if you let me. i can at least try. trust me, its worth it. well, please come talk to me.... and this poem wasnt retarted at all. i kinda understand it. your not alone.
    loves...

1 - 6 of 6