Desolate, starving, a shadow in the darkness,
Praying, begging, God is her only witness.
Cold, abandoned, too young to be alone.
Crying, pleading, for the sins she can’t atone.
Broken, filthy, abused by those she loves.
Tired, dying, wanting to rise above.
Lonely, defeated, nowhere for her to run.
Fearful, desperate, knowing she’s just begun.
Author notes
My Worst Nightmare
A contest entry
- Fear by Passionate Singe.
600 points, ended April 7, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is well done. Short but strong. It delivers the presence of emotion very nicely and leaves a solid image in the mind. Excellent :)
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This has a really good rhythm to it. It reads quickly, mimicking the desperation felt in the poem. After reading your author's comments I wished the piece had been longer...where does this fear come from, for example? Is it a nightmare, or something that will possibly happen? The poem stands alone very well, and it isn't at all necessary to add to it. But I think the option and potential are there to bring this to life even further if you ever wish to do so. A very enjoyable read.
Best wishes,
~J.
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thank you for your comment. I am currently pregnant and at the moment homeless, living in my brother's garage because I "fo not deserve the comfort of a home, using the computer at the local library. This is poem is not about a nightmare any longer. It is my life
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Well written! Very real nightmare, it would be a terrible life to have.
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I like the finish. I could definently relate to this. Your flow is always getting better. This is really good.
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