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Suicide's Mind

 

*

Those stains ran down my face like ink scars of a severed cry,

with dark tangled memories returning to an induced lullaby.

I had hushed my mouth, with that siege of a fluttering desire,

as the inhabited shrine burned slowly, through it's tragic fire.

.

My imagination seemed to perish with a mystic ghostly flare,

and I became incoherent breathing into hollow but frantic air.

The blood began to splatter across the dense abyss of twilight,

with obsession of its origin, I tried to allure a ~lithium night~

.

Misled secrecy is often frail while delicate trauma is destroyed,

I fell victim to a shrouded field of needles that I merge to avoid.

Crosses and stitches wrapped in deceit, crumbled with descend,

within the eyes of the liquid rose I tried so hard to comprehend.

.

Immortal wishes became blotched, so stark upon a defile mind,

I detach from a place called "Loneliness" where I felt confined.

Small sacrifices in a funeral became roads to happiness of pain,

while within those depths of labyrinth shouted to me like rain.

.

Author notes

I used the words;

Ink, blotched, splatter, stain , abyss, dense, allure , frail, defile, mystic , trauma , tragic, funeral, frantic, twilight, induced, stark, detach, imagination , incoherent, lullaby , delicate , fluttering , shrouded, tangled , hushed, misled, severed , ghostly, desire, perish , lithium , inhabited , obsession, origin , crumble, descend , labyrinth, shrine, seige, hollow, secrecy, flare , destroyed, merge.

 

and the titles of;

Liquid Rose

Fallen Victim

Immortal Wishes

Small Sacrifices

Crosses and Stitches

Road To Happiness

Field of Needles

Within the Eyes

Wrapped In Deceit

Suicide's Mind

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • CarCrashHumor
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Misled secrecy is often frail while delicate trauma is destroyed,

    I fell victim to a shrouded field of needles"

    "I detach from a place called "Loneliness" where I felt confined."

    you put a beautiful spin on this.

    lovely job.

  • OurxBeginning
    March 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very emotion filled. Rhyming is perfect and the words you used went well together. Short for so much words, etc, but expresses your meaning nicely. Thanks for entering and good luck. ~~


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    February 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    how do you do it, how do you get so much emotion in your poems, that is something i have dreamed to do, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • teardrop gold member
    February 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    EXCELLENT!

    What can I say!! This is chilling, exciting and a damn great read!!

    TD


  • Am8ur
    February 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    superb job! it is a very interesting contest you have chosen to enter here lol. you have done a fantastic job with your entry too i might add.
    (i doubt i could have done it )
    you are blessed with a real talent for writng.
    good luck in the contest... although, i doubt you will need it. this is so beautifully done and the imagery is wonderful also. simple enough to not take away from the write itself yet, not too simple
    i look forward to reading more from you in the future
    Til


  • cantgetoverit
    February 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    i like it

    its very dark.... but... isnt life? hmm well anyway it was i good way to start my evening online maybe i will be inspired


  • silent bee
    February 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    only one word...AMAZING! i can feel the emotions that flow so well throughout. this is one of the best poems that i have read. good luck in the contest


  • th3sl4y3r
    February 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is amazing, every line, every line is perfect, the flow, the rhythm, the vision, the emotions... absoluty wonderful.... There are way to many great lines in this poem, I can't possibly chose a favourite.. The first line is so captuvating, and reflects the picture so well...
    a brilliant poem, well done!!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    February 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done this is like a piece of art the flow was excellent and the background fits perfectly

1 - 9 of 9