Relapsing is all too Easy

Thoughts keep coming

'Round and 'round

Nothing stops

These voices

Never leave me alone

They are always bringing me down.

"Come on, nobody would notice."

"Nobody except me."

I fight with myself

Trying not to fail me

Or even worse: YOU,

I wish I could tell you

That I need to

Do this again.

"You know, your friends don't care."

"If I fail them, I die."

I just want to

Pick up that knife

One more time

And see if it

Still hurts

Or if it scars.

"You know it will help."

"Not if I don't want to."

The truth is I need to.

I know from my

Past that it will

Help me

Overcome

These crazy feelings

"It will help."

"NOT THIS TIME."

So I sit here

Holding up the

Knife like before

Putting it

Into my skin

And the world stops.

"Relapsing is all too easy."

Author notes

Actually written way back in 2005.

Like I said written in 2005, when I decided to quit cutting and I needed a release. So I wrote that and never shared it with anyone until today. I only fixed some stuff to make it flow better.

I decided to post it now cuz its what I feel right now. That maybe a cutting relapse would make someone open their eyes and see I need some help. So, yeah, this is a cry out.

Please tell me what you think

Comments

right now

Adding your comment:
Barely Breathing
March 6, 2007

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Great work. Your poetry definately will help others open their eyes. And well done for coming such a long way. This poem was very well written and had a great flow to it.