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Close The Gates

Strapped to the teeth
To loose the fire
To war till dawn
To kill the liar
Two were risen
One remain
Bomb the guilty
Fight the pain
Through the pain
The troops will rally
From New York
To Southern Cali
We've come to set this town a' fire
To war till dawn
To kill the liar

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • lovely lemon tree
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    To war till dawn
    To kill the liar

    I forgot how much I loved this piece.
    It's nice to be reminded.


  • CrystalJet
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really liked this poem, It's really good. The only fault I found with it was the repeated line, "Fight the pain". I think it would sound better if you only put it once, but that is just my personal opinion, you don't have to change in. Thank you so much for your wonderful entry and good luck in my contest.

  • Forever Begins Now
    February 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you're so poetic. i love it

  • lovely lemon tree
    February 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think some of the glory was lost when it was read aloud, over the phone. I'm very glad you posted it here. I love it even more now.