My Beautiful hell

i wish the sun would shine
and brighten up my life
but for now i must die
and take the edge of the knife
to cut my humanity out of my body
and let my blood run cold
to tear my heart from my chest
and break lifes weakening hold
to carry no earthly burdens
and let my tears fall red
to turn my head and break my neck
and let it fall from my shoulders dead
to hold no hands of love
and freeze in hates embrace
not to call out to the living
and apon the dead take my place
ive found were i belong
were i never have to cry
no tears of hate and dispair
only now to bleed and die
i take no glances in the direction of life
i hold nothing dear to my heart
for that is gone with my human world
and now i live to tear apart
i drive myself through and fall
i take no directions only my mind will tell
to bleed forever and more
here in my beautiful hell