Moon and clock,
converse for hours,
privy of the lucent King.
In the bustling ticks,
King and clock,
mull over dusk and Moon.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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short and sweet to get a point across?
To tell you the truth i didn't see it as very poetic, but that is just me(i don't think haikus are poetic either so.. hey it is just me.)
I say expand on it a little bit, a 20 word poem has to be written with talent to have a meaning (which yours does) but incorperate some of the greater Poetic techniques in with it. -
this was short... but it had a nice flow to it and it's well written. I both liked it and enjoyed reading it. ^-^ Good job.
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WOW this one leaves one pondering about the meaning behind this piece...hmmm...It's really good though...I like it..Hey maybe you should just call it pondering...
Anyway good luck deciding a title...
Dusty -
Really good. This is great work. I'm not to sure of a title but maybe "moon time" Or "time of a king" Ok I don't like thoughs but I thought i would try. Well done.
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This was short but also a great read. title suggestions King's Privy, not sure, but seems like it might work. Thanks for sharing.
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Short and Sweet. Interesting concept "Moon and clock,
converse for hours,"
Im never even happy usually with my own titles so I think I'll remain quiet on this one.
But anyways excellent write. It made for an enjoyable and easy read. -
i suck at titles, i thought it was really good tho, just kinda short, it definitly needs more
good luck finding a title,
-gooshawn
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I really like this poem, the line 'moon and clock' is so captuvating... the flow hass a real tick tock tune to it... nicely written, well done!!
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