I’m a horrible person and I don’t know what to do,
I’ve never felt like I’ve hurt anyone like the way I hurt you.
I am so very scared and I played it like I was cool,
But the pain I am enduring is very very cruel.
Why do I do this, I told you I just let everyone down,
I am so very sorry but I have hit rock bottom and all I feel is the ground.
I am a piece of shit just like I have always been told,
Maybe its coz I am scared or maybe coz my heart has gone cold.
You are all I have and you are everything to me,
I never meant to lie to you, cant you look inside me and see.
I give my all to you and I let you know me inside and out,
I am just so nervous for my life and the rest of my route.
Maybe I should stop worrying and stop involving you,
It’s not fair that I take on all this and make you go through it too.
I put too much into you and I am sorry for that,
You shouldn’t have to deal with me and all of my crap.
You have your own life and your own problems within yourself,
You have your own shit to worry about, u need to concentrate on your health.
Fuck me; maybe I am just selfish and wrong,
Maybe I am just being a pussy instead of being strong.
I will let you go and deal with this shit on my own,
This weakness in me you will never see, from now on strength will be all that’s shown.
Tears from my eyes will never be seen again,
I am so very sorry for hurting one of my best friends.
I knew from the start that I should deal with this all alone,
After all I am 18 and should be a big girl and grown.
I am a fucking idiot for wanting to lean on others,
Nothing can shield the light, everything is seen not matter what covers.
I regret what I told you, I regret you feeling for me,
It is all my fault just like I was told, and now I finally see.
I can’t change the past and I can’t change how I may feel,
But I can’t pretend like these words that I have spoken to you are not real.
So lets just pretend that none of this in my life happened and everything is fine,
Then you can see what others see, the fake me that always seems to shine.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow
Lean on me. I'm kinda fragile at the moment, I admit, but I'll keep you strong, promise. I always do that. Ignore my problems by solving other's. It was a strong and emotional piece, very long lines But you had a lot of important things to say and that's what counts. I sometimes do that but when I write those letters, I'm rejected. I hope you weren't with this one.
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heart has not gone cold because you have gone through one of lifes lessons you will grow strong i have no doubt that you can just stay positive
and just remember if you make a choice and start to go through just take a second and think of what the out come will be if its good an if not well you know
tell a friend and letting them help you is not bad they make a choice to help or not any way great write really great keep it up
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Wow...that's- it makes me sorry for you. I like that you managed to keep a flow and rhyme scheme even while there is no line breaking really, unique (at least as far as I've ever read). But if you don't mind me barging in- I don't think you should regret confessing to whoever you did. If you trusted them enough to listen to you, then it was worth doing in the long run. Friends are supposed to be like a divided highway, not a 'stay to the right' or 'one way begins here'...so though this person sounds like they have some troubles of their own- when loved, their friends troubles are also theirs. Sorry- I trailed off.
That happens. Great write.
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