A sharp intake of breath
A sigh of painful relief
Shadows swallowing my soul
I surrender to my constant grief
Satisfaction of trembling pain
The shadows grip squeezing out life
My heart lies bleeding, slowly slain
from the glistening blade of loves cruel knife
I feel each twist, each stab, each slice
It brings me closer to certain death
If only I had known the price
I’d not have taken my first breath
I sense it now, my dying soul
slipping from my weakened shell
wispy shadows taking hold
devouring me where I fell
Fear consumes me in its fierce grasp
Panic arises with sudden chills
I scream but all that escapes is a gasp
Hearing the uncertainty it instills
…
All goes quiet as my body rests
Shadows have savagely torn me apart
New found tranquility only suggests
the untimely slaughter of my loving heart
Author notes
MOsY fAtE
A contest entry
- Alot of different options for alot of different people... by skyviewexpress.
500 points, ended March 10, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Cry Like A Damn Baby by Dorcha Runda.
400 points, ended March 13, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i -- WANT -- DARK!! by Xsafety glassX.
450 points, ended May 9, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by HerbalGoat.
456 points, ended May 24, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want To Win a Contest? by ArmorXForXSleep.
360 points, ended July 31, 2007, 154 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow, this is packed with emtion.
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Very good I love the detail Love the flow it's very interesting it almost seems the sad ending a sad story i really enjoyed reading it good luck!
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I'm sorry but I don't think it is what I'm looking for.Thanks anyway though.Keep writing
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All goes quiet as my body rests
Shadows have savagely torn me apart
New found tranquility only suggests
the untimely slaughter of my loving heart
finalists for u!! -
Really great poem so dark and those are always the best hehe you have a really great talent there keep on writing and I wish you the best of luck in this contest!!!! I wil lbe reading more of your work!
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Ooooh! Nice one! Your soo good at these dark writes! The aliteration was great...it ran smoothly and rhymed without force. That's usually hard to do. Kudos!
*Ri
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Thanks, I didn't even try for the aliteration. Now I'm trying to take the inspiration for these pieces and put them towards different subjects. Slightly more difficult, but it's a challenge worth taking.
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this is very deep, i like it. Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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I like this one a lot, well done.
good luck in my contest -
nice poem!!! Perfect rhyme sceme and it all smoothed together well with no forcing! Each stanza GROWS on eachother and keeps getting better and better! I loved the idea and the very ending was sad adn amazing, btu what inspired you?? Well good luck in the contest!
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I guess what inspired me was just feelings I've had many times and how I felt when I entered the contest. Ever since my heart was broken I've been compelled to write. Though it was the most painful experience of my life so far, I've managed to turn it into my poetry. I am inspired by a broken heart. And working with the person who broke it keeps feelings fresh and is a constant reminder of what was lost, and the cruel person who has replaced the man I once loved.
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