Silent Darkness

Days are long the nights longer for there is no rest
I agonize over and over with chaotic emotions
Sweat drips with a deep intensity drawling forth shivers
I want it so bad yet…am slightly hesitant to start…
My stomach is in knots hands shaking slightly
A sudden clatter of tins makes me jump and swivel
Only too see a tail as a rat scuttles away….

Above heated words thrown back and forth
Over nothing of importance just more crap
A reason to argue to hurt to what end?
Even I do not know the answer to that
Once my parents were as one then I don’t know
He came home all flushed stinking of whiskey
No reason never a reason just screams and pain
Usually me…more so her, I have forgotten how to care
I cringe as glass breaks a moan and finally crying
As he slams the door…a roaring engine then silence

Safe for now…no such luck he’ll be back
No such profanity called safe in this hell
Even this basement isn’t free of pain
Though I guess there is a difference
Well sometimes at any rate…the rare times
Day or night though I can’t tell no light reaches me
He threw me in here so long ago to rot…to die
She has kept me alive with scraps of food
In my prison now my home my grungy hole
If u look hard enough u can see the stained walls
Sometimes slip on something rotten and wet
A piece of me here and there as I linger on

Hunched I am now so many bones healed wrong
My screams never warrant any help only echoes
Now barely any whispers escape my worn out throat
How long have I been down here I don’t know
Once I had friends now I have only my terror
And my slivers of broken glass…mustn’t forget them
Guess deep down they are now my family for I love them so
So…much how they hug and caress…never complaining
Always so sharp and ready to play with me
To dance across skin leaving fine glossy trails
They love me so deeply carving their desires
Bringing a silent pleasure from lingering sorrows
But our play time is always interrupted by darkness
So weak so exhausted yet even though time seems to slow

My eternity never does always lingers on
Crimson tears are all that flow as mine are dry
I envy her for being able to cry…to scream…to escape
A door for her freedom if only she tried…
A tomb for mine….where only death awaits
And darkness where fear resides
Where I lay seemingly
Forgotten