Evil slithers through time again,
abducting thoughts from the mind,
slithers in her dark heartless reign,
in the shadows, hope you wont find.
The snake enters a shining soul,
and takes with her all your dreams,
my heart, there's now a black hole,
no one hears my desperate screams.
Cunning and smooth the snake moves,
disguised as beauty, to steal your hope,
hate and sadness is all she'll approve,
to your soul, she hands you a rope.
Words painted a picture of soul destroying lies
and extinguished my love, my light,
in a pretty face, the devil's disguise.
This evil and darkness, alone I did fight.
All alone I'm left, and left to blame,
to leave this place and time, alone,
to depart the living with a forgotten name.
With an empty soul to the unknown,
for i'm the one who's insane.
Left to be swallowed by the shadows,
only normal now, when rushing off my brain.
Longing to vanish into deaths meadows,
the devil, evil I'm too weak to fight.
The snake slithers through my empty eyes,
takes me away into the night,
to put out my light,
for this is my demise.
Author notes
MOsY fAtE
A contest entry
- No Trophy's? Enter your Favourite Dark Poem by Random Thoughts.
450 points, ended March 11, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow...this wuz so cool!! thanx for entering my contest!
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wow this is very powerfull so dark. It was really great I really enjoyed reading this..I wish you the best of luck in this contest! keep on writing you are very talented!
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wow this was a great poem thanks for the entry
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This was an excellent write, I enjoyed reading it. I thought this was a very interesting piece. Good job. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampireblood~~~ -
this was a great write to read..your wordsw were strong and created a marvellous poem..this write was different from most that i have read today but still good..keep writting your very talented and good
~Chrissy~ -
^^
Very good. I really like how you ended it man. I always say that it's the ending that makes a poem. You ended that well. Keep up the good work, and good luck in the contest.
-Angel- -
wont read until i know the option
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Supberb piece you have written here. I found it interesting that you refer to the snake as a "she". It's obvious that you put forth great thought and effort into this creation. Well done.
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nice poem,good luck in the contest
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Very dark and very different, I think that this is a very talented write that you have put a lot of effort into and it shows, the wording and style were great,
It is a beautifully sad piece that I really enjoyed,
Thanks for sharing and well done,
Best of luck in my contest.
Brenden -
You're definately talented, I thought this was amazing.
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Well I love your poem. I didn't expect it to be a sort of metaphor, but it fits a metaphor and real snakes.
Your poem is very creepy, and it is EXCELLENT!
Your word choice and rhyme are very good. I loved your poem overall! Just a typo in "I'm to weak" it should be "too"
Keep on writing, and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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"Longing to vanish into deaths meadows,"
ooo i really like this line, i love the darkness of this entire poem, especially when you say "for i'm the one who's insane" and "the snake slithers through my empty eyes" .. just gorgeous! is there anything you CAN'T write about? i'd be amazed if there was!
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This is very well written and I like the way you set the mood of this write. Its dark and gives a feeling of hopelessness as well as left lasting pictures..excellent write. Thank you also for the comment..take care.
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snakes on a plane~ AHHHHHHH
interesting poem just wished you mentioned snakes on a plane. those pesky snakes are always ona plane somewhere. sam jackson always has to fihgt his way out without dying. poor bastard. anyways. nice poem. with you would describe multiple snakes and also write a poem on reptiles in general . seems like you have an insite into thie being.
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I like the way your introduction sets up the atmosphere and the blackness of hopelessness...dark. You line unfold full of more dark imagery and moves well yet deepening the desperation I am left with a sinking feel down into the abyss. Down to the end and freedom by death. Now there is something about a walk in a good chilly dark number. Thank you for the pleasure .Good luck in the contest.
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thank you for your kind comments, I am always unsure when entering contests. you have given me such relief... thanks for the applause too,
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