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inside the raven

The raven sings
of wicked things
of killer claws and blackened wings
but I know where the raven cries
because the light inside his eyes
reflected me
reflected me
reflected bluebird blue-filled skies
where secrets graze in compromise
so many things
the raven sings
he sings, he sings, he sings, he lies.



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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • XLadyElinorX
    October 22, 2008
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    Ohhh . . I totally agree with Veronica Leigh - this is brilliant. I love it! Love love love . . .


  • Veronica Leigh
    July 17, 2008
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    wow

    This is brilliant. I'm in love with your writing. Well done!


  • eltortedequeso
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the fave game:
    love the imagery of a raven crying,
    that deep inside is a bluebird, a blue filled sky

  • Eusebius
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Brilliantly conceived and sorcerously executed! A terrific poem, wonderful, superb! I loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...


  • Girl In The War
    May 5, 2008

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    I really liked this. You took a simple idea and made it your own very well.

    but I know where the raven cries
    because the light inside his eyes
    reflected me

    I enjoyed that part the most. Overall, the poem is very strong and the flow is perfect.


  • Kalima
    March 7, 2007
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    Very amazing... Keep it up. Stacey


  • lyrical-rebel
    February 25, 2007

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    Well written!

    nice...!! loved the entire concept of your write... very interesting... Loved the last line the most!! the perfect ending to a well written poem!!


  • Peteskid gold member
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lyrical and metaphor filled

    small poem..where secrets graze in compromise... and lies fill the skies... very nicely done..very artisitic


  • xdeadlyxxsinx
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very good. I especially like the line- "where secrets graze in compromise." Very nice. I like the feeling you're trying to get across her. Keep it up.


  • Raven Contest
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Had to check it out.

    Don't usually leave comments with this account, but I was doing some maintenace stuff and I saw this and I had to check it out.

    I think I may have to read this a few more times to get the flow to sound right in my head, but even without that, it was very enjoyable.

    Too bad you didn't pen it for the contest... would have made a nice companion work.

    Best wishes,

    Raven Contest Staff


  • rustynite silver member
    February 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    man has no control over ravens. thats why he sings lies. now think of the dogs of god......


  • layla.
    February 23, 2007

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    I am not a fan of rhyming. There are a very few poets around here (Who rhyme) are my favorites.
    A-bear is one of them. Anyway, coming back to your piece, think you have a strong messege to pass to the readers. This reflects self-contradiction- that we all possess. Keep penning!
    ~Madd

  • EncounteredEpiphany
    February 23, 2007

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    pqwerful

    Love it,where secrets graze in compromise so many things the raven sings. That is one thing for sure is the raven sings,and he lies!!!!! SALUTE!!!!!


  • Blind-Ambition
    February 22, 2007

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    Je l'aime

    Ooh, the return of the sapphire soul.

    I like the use of a common, or typical, subject with the usual Greg twist. Great job with the ryhme scheme.

  • PalmettoSky
    February 22, 2007

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    beautiful!

    I love rhyming poetry...it can be a chore at times to keep it fresh and flowing. You have done both here with your poem. I liked the border as well. thanks for sharing. peace to you always.


  • Mori-lux
    February 22, 2007

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    lovely!

    I saw this poem on the featured list and just had to read it! im a bit obsessed with ravens you see, this is a wonderful write! I very much like how you compaired the raven to yourself! bravo bravo!


  • Daniella elizabeth
    February 22, 2007

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    Life Like

    Amazing I felt like there was a raven right behind me its awesome. Excellent writting seriously. The last line he sings, he lies its just so true well don't ever stop writting cause this rocks


  • JustWhoIAm
    February 22, 2007

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    Wow...this is a great write. I love the use of imagery and the playing on the stereotype of the raven as a viscious killer. Keep writing!

    CR


  • Jadeheart 41
    February 22, 2007

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    Wonderful!!!

    Such power in your words.. Your talent just blows me away.. I love the background and the poem it is just terrific! Hope to read more of your great writes!

1 - 19 of 19