Love me gently, for I am porcelain
Hold me close, but not too tight
Love me with all of your heart, but none of your body
Don't whisper your thoughts to me if they are naughty
If you treat me well, I'll be yours forever
But some day for sure you'll have to part with me.
I am not your wife, I am not your lover
I am devoted to you, but I will never want you.
If you touch me wrong, I am sure to break
Don't ever say you love me, and mean you want to fuck.
For I am your life, and your world.
I am sugar candy sweet.
Daddy I'm your precious child.
So treat me gently, for I am porcelain
Author notes
I'm not sure if this fits in the contest, but I thought it might..
A contest entry
- The Poets Write by Starrchild777.
975 points, ended March 8, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow, this is GOOD!!!
Definitely fits, and very well i might have to add!!!!
overall, this is a fantastic piece you have thought through. and so after the first read through, naturally i felt compelled to read again.
and then a third time.
and i really have to say, this is very real.
Take Care,
-brian
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I like it
I enjoyed the poem and understood clearly what it was about.
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At first when I was reading this I thought it was about someone who was being pushed for sex when they weren't ready. "Don't ever say you love me, and mean you want to fuck." That is way easy for me to relate to.
The opening lines were also very cleverly written "Love me gently, for I am porcelain
Hold me close, but not too tight
Love me with all of your heart, but none of your body
Don't whisper your thoughts to me if they are naughty" I loved the flow of those four lines.
But than the last stanza threw me for a loop. I was wrong about what I thought the subject of the poem was...
Is this meant to be about sexual abuse from a father to his daughter? -
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Yes, it is about what love between a father and their child should be. And what it should not be. Its about what it is like to be loved by your father in the wrong way.
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I like this piece alot, it is very well written and creates nice imagery. It flows nicely but gets a little rough in line 10 when you use " fuck". Not that I have anything againest it, it just seems to pop out at me. Very nice write. I'd like to read more of your poems. -Britt
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A little sad, but VERY well-written. Your wording is great, as is the flow. And the concept of the piece is very intriguing. Excellent piece.
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