I was alone, out at sea,
no-one insight, only me.
Sailing to find my soul,
the ship in my control,
well, so I honestly had thought..
I was sinking, needing to be caught.
Sailing through the rough,
just about having enough,
ready, the time to give in,
to jump and not try to swim.
Sinking more, with free flowing tears,
slowly drowning in such lonely fears.
Willing to be free,
letting go of me.
Then sailed a boat from the west,
floating t'ward me during my congest.
Someone willing to rescue me,
seemed to appear magically.
Hauled me out of the deep, then
gave me strength to try again.
Now i'm sailing, not alone,
no longer in a lost zone.
Author notes
Shadows-stars
A contest entry
- Life is a Metaphor?? by WhenWillsCollide.
300 points, ended April 16, 2007, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one, open to all by Elvenfairy.
300 points, ended May 25, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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this poem was facinating. It really makes you stop and think. Thanks for entering this ino my contest and good luck!
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well done!
well done!
this piece is fantastic in the eyes of me becasuse IT RYHMED. the imagery was present but in another form. thsi was more of a "look into my mind" type of imagery. it was not only imgaery and ryhme, but it was a metaphor! fantastic! I believe that you have tackled my task and done all that i may have liked. it is about the ocean, so its EVEN ABOUT NATURE! i cannot believe that it was possible to do it and still have a decent poem.
Sinking more, with free flowing tears,
slowly drowning in such lonely fears.
this was my favorite ryhme from teh poem. it helps to set teh mood of the overall write.
FANTASTIC write and good luck (alltho i may say taht you dont need it)
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wonderful peice you have here love the way you can truly realte this to your life but it also has great imagry bravo
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Great metaphor!
Looking and searching for love is a lot like sailing the ocean all alone. You're on your own, and only you can steer the boat where it needs to go. Sometimes you want to 'jump ship' and sometimes you want to keep looking, or a ship finds you when you've almost given up. Love is crazy like that, isn't it?
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thank you Rianna, yes love and life are crazy like that, it's pretty much what happened with me, I had given up totally on love, then Craig and I had our moment 10 yrs ago, and are still together now.. thanks for your wonderful comment.. peace and love always Krissi xx
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