Cut your heartbeat
Let it die
Follow me through
Camel's Eye
Watch your step
Do not fall
Or your fears become
Unshakeable walls
Who can help you best
But me?
I'll teach you to walk
The turgid seas
We'll walk together in
Foreign Lands
They'll laugh at your talk
And my nail scarred hands.
It's not that you're better
Than that foolish mob
You were just the same
Until you gave me your all
Many are called
But few will listen
At Heaven's gate
Your tears will glisten
And so they should.
Author notes
Just randomness that I wrote in school when I was thinking about how we walk a road less traveled.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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that's very true we do... but if you think about it, so many people walk that road, so is it really less travelled? ....thought provoking! great write!
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Insightful journey!
Hello Sunchild, I have been thinking about your poem since first I read it. That you could write in this manner while occupied in other activity tells me that these thoughts are very 'close to home' and very much a part of your life,
I like the images you used and they have stayed with me. My favourite verse was the one about walking together and the talk and nail scarred hands. That one line ending is perfect. Good job, Sunchild. Jadon

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As McDs would say "I'm lovin it"
"Watch your step
Do not fall
Or your fears become
Unshakeable walls"
Congrats on another awesome write sis. For a white girl you have pretty good rhythm...sometimes
. Much love.
Colin M.(uffin)


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Lol! Thanks....I think. Yeah, I'll take all the complements about my rhytm as I can get, just don't ask me to dance or nothin. ^_~ Hey, you should talk about good poems, I've read your latest, but thank you anyway.

Sunchild
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Ooh, I love the perspective that you wrote this one in! I didn't realize who you had speaking until I got to that third stanza which spoke of walking on the waters. I knew then what this was all about. You did a nice job of setting this piece up and an even better job at taking us out. You stanzas of only a few words held such a feeling of depth. Very nice.


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Thanks Supe. You're always so encouraging! I really appreciate that. ^_^ Keep it real sister. lol
Sunchild
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great
He and I have something in common. scars on our wrists.

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Lol. I guess that's one way of putting it.
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