Riders came
from Persepolis itself
and branded spears
of sperm.
Our flesh to split,
to accommodate
the viruses,
the shells,
the Persian rage
that spewed our wells.
The hate I
hold for war
your son will
perpetrate.
Hepatitis come
hepatitis
rape.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Powerful
That's a very powerful image you draw there. Still I'm a little bit puzzled. Who is it addressed to? "your son" etc. Did they poison the wells with hepatitis as well as raping the women and infecting them? Does the poem refer to a particular incident in ancient history, or perhaps to a myth that I don't know?
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Thanks for your comment. Yes, it's a little rambling and sometimes confusing as all of my poetry so you did see that. The peom does not reflect any tmyth or incident, I'm just in the midst of a series on illnesses and wanted to write something on STDs (well, I have another one on AIDS). I thought Hepatitis would do, as it would be transmitted from the rapist to the raped and then possibly to their son.
By the well, the well was intended as a metaphor of the vagine but it seems it didn't work well!
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great job :)
this is a cool one. nice work man. very, very nice choice of words.
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sorrowful horray!
This is a pretty good poem.. and the words make me smile. -
this confuses me. but its very interesting.
- katie
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This is not one of those easily figured out writes.
Best I can see it says man was afflicted with hepatisis from way back. Man seems to be at war with himself.
Thanks for sharing. Rose -
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Thanks Rose. Yes, I know my poetry tends to be a bit dryptical, which is not a good thing, I must say. Will try to bemoe more transparent when I learn to write better, lol. Andy
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