the bed is not so comfy and
the loo is not so clean
our bower in the castle here
we rarely yet have seen.
two piles of mouldy, smelly straw
our bed's again tonight
but lol! that's what we get
for giving gramps a fright.
our loo is oh so sludgy and
our toilet paper's rough
but AJ says it serves us right;
she says "enough's enough".
our walls are dark and dingy with
no pictures, paint or drapes.
Queen Edna says we must stay here
for knocking off her grapes.
we have no lights or water, just
a bowl and two old candles
but grampa says no matches, 'coz
us grandawters are vandals.
we ain't got no damn kitchen or
no sinks nor no gas stoves
but we do get great room service with
stale cakes and mouldy loaves.
the room it smells so musky and
the air it feels so damp
but yem says that is what we get
for flogging scotch off gramp.
this is our home away from home
and this our bloody bower
you all can keep your castle 'coz
we're happy in the tower.
so to you all we say this thing:
our room would be a waste
so give it to the damsels which
will make more wardrobe space.
but mia and i (the am8ur),
grandawters one and two,
however simply do request
a few small things from you:
may we please have some fresh new straw?
'coz ours has all gone icky.
can we please have some clean water too?
'coz we both stink and we're sticky.
may we please have vases of fresh flowers
for colour and some scent?
and can we have some blankets 'coz
we don't know where ours went?
but our room service we will keep,
our stale cakes and bread,
and we'll keep our sludgy toilet with
condensation overhead.
mia and i would never change a thing;
we're happy here you see.
'coz us nawty, cheeky grandawts are
as filthy as can be
Author notes
mia (iamfromabove) is my sister in law, she doesnt have the internet so i included her in my entry.
til
A contest entry
- The Bowers of HUGUELOT Contest by huguenauties.
525 points, ended February 28, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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i am speechless lol
i feel cold and damp just from lookin at the pic. anything that lurks down there must be a sight lol
congrats on the trophy -
Congratulations on a most deserving gold. It will no doubt bring a little colour to your dingy surroundings. By all accounts mine will be not much better but you're welcome to use my pee-green loo any time you're cut short. I might be able to slip you the odd plate of stew from time to time to go with the mouldy bread (if HM isn't looking)
Anne (POCAHD)
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by far written with more discipline than anything i can poetry. a gold is not enough. ten golds would be enough. your thoughts are very genuined and definitely those of a loving and caring soul of poetry.
take good care,
-brian.
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Wonderful
that you won the contest. I loved it ...I could feel the lice crawling all over me just from reading it...I will tell one of my 'hunks' to bring you some chocolate and wine to take the edge off the stale and moldy bread you are stuck with...and also some nice sweet smelling straw...pop in and see me some time...we can talk and gossip about some of the others in the castle..especially those who are out of favor with the king..that should make for a juicy afternoon...Congratulations on winning the contest...can't wait to see what we get to write about next...
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Congratulations on the Gold...Good luck with the next contest...can I cheat?
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ha ha. sure you can cheat lol... only cause you been slummin it down here with us two grandawts, you deserve a turn in luck lol
Til
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Yay! You won GOLD!!! Congratulations on an honnor well deserved.
~J. -
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thanks muchly, it was kinda unexpected lol. now i gota think of a new contest
could be fun though lol
til
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Hey Til, CONGRATULATIONS on your GOLD TROPHY.
Love AJ -
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thanks heaps AJ. Loves ya!
Til
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CONGRATULATIONS
for winning the GOLD TROPHY!
Maureen
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thank you muchly
Til
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In the tale contained in the poem and the image of the poets reflect the sincerity of spirit, which is perhaps one of the greatest goods in this world, one that is too often missed dearly in this life. I hope you will be able to continue to enrich this world with what you do. I appreciate it very much and thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
U
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thanks for reading. most importantly, thanks for your beautifully kind comment
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Love the humor here and the fantastic flow. Love the "fresh flowers" I forgot to add that to my Bower. Great funny writ poet. I wish you the best in the challenge.
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lol you could always borrow some flowers from the gardens lol
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I hope the King appreciates us three who ask for nothing! Psst, I suggest we start a revolt if he doesn't present us will a few things like new straw and food some salve for my sores!
This was funny, and I like humor just a little.
Say Hi to Mia, been a while since I saw her about these parts.
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well i know grampa appreciates grandawts one and two we are entertaining and hot, i mean why would he not?
and i am sure he appreciates you too, there aint too many others hat would do what you do and get paid like that too
i will make sure you get some salve for your sores. if not, mia and i know where we can get plenty of scotch to numb the discomfort
Til
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Ya poor mites
You can come and stay in my lovely bower,
It is situated in the east tower,
Practice your vows and pretend to be married,
And through the door bride must be carried.
All the children I'll accommodate as well,
Because they sound sweet and really swell,
What a charming couple you both make,
I want to do this for your sake.
Oh spoil you,I want to hug you all,
And open the Grand Salon,and have a great ball,
Feast on sumptuous food and delights,
Let it go on,for nights and nights.
Hugs and kisses,
Petratani
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A salon? A ball? sumptuous food? oh my i must drag out my best rags and make use of my scungy bowl of water and scrub myself down. oh how exciting lol.
til
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Since you don't want a fancy place,
And you really need a shower
I'll let you sneak in the back door
Of my cozy, well appointed bower
And since it's on the first floor
You can get in and not be seen
We can share a fresh loaf and wine
After you're all squeaky clean
I can't believe I missed this wonderfully cheeky write, it's so funny. I caught it when I came to re-read all of the entries before voting.
Love it Good luck in the contest
Dee
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This is truly the funniest thing I have read in ages! It sounds for all your mischief, you have LOTS of fun, and who could complain about that?
I don't think I will be visiting you (often) but you are both welcome to visit my bower and clean up whenever you want.
Best wishes and good luck!
~J.
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Funny!!!
Your poem made me..you're too hard on yourself and poor Mia. Surely you deserve more than you've asked for! After your shower, I'll be happy to see you come round my door!
Maureen
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maybe me i'm an angel
i'm merely guilty by association... promise
til
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Can't be botrhered comenting, but wanted to applaud
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oh yu have just too funny...this was a wonderful fun read this morning.... lol...nicely done....he will love you best of all for demanding the least..I just know it.
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Oh this was so amusing! I did not know that you were granddaughters as well! I cannot keep the smile off of my face, as I am picturing you play tricks on Grandpa Hugh. Best of luck to you!
Elisa, CB & YOKEGG -
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yes we too are grandawts, we are the cheeky lil miss's that spend our days getting into all things bad
we dont play too many tricks on grampa, he's wise to us now. we just steal his scotch and ednas grapes
til
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Oh my, I had no idea that the dungeon was in a tower! You humour is alternately ironic and rollicking, I much enjoyed your poem of the dank quarters meted to recalcitrant damsels. Lots of fun, good luck!
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Lol I think its against the law to keep you in the state but for the contest and for the funny hilarity of it, it is just delightfully done,
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hilariously, deplorabley , funny
that is the best way to discribe your living conditions...but it sounds like you are having so much fun living that way that who am I to say otherwise...I loved the way you discribed them...Good luck on your entry...and if the king won't give you a place to shower and clean up just come on over to my bower...I have some cute hunks to scrub your back while you soak in a bubble bath in my tub...they will tickle your toes or what ever else you want them to do...and when you are finished and lounging around I have chocolate to enjoy with your wine...
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when can i move in? mia can stay in the tower lol
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Dear Princesses,
Thankyou for your entry in this Huguenauties contest.
As I do not own a computer but use Hugh’s from time to time, I have asked Hugh to comment on my behalf on each entry to save my travelling across town each time.
Thankyou for understanding and excusing me.
Good luck in the contest.
Love, Heathcote. (HR)
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Dear Til (and Mia)
I don’t know why you Aussie girls
like living in a slum
or why yore just so lazy you
don’t even wipe yore bum.
Becoz yore both princesses and
grandawters of the King,
and you've both got big boobies, We
forgive you everything!
To straighten up yore awful mess
would cost a mighty dollar
and you would prob’ly like it less
than all yore filth and squalor.
The two of you yore grampa’s spoiled
for he’s half off his rockers
and ever since Mia got well-oiled
he’s missed her whopper knockers.
We never hear from her these days
and We are slightly hurt
that, rather than clean luxury,
you choose to live in dirt!
If she’d a good girl been and saved,
she could have had a bower
with everything she ever craved
instead of just the tower.
But ‘coz she chose to live in filth
and yore her loyal friend
you’ll have to pig it with her now
and that’s the bloody end!
(lol !!)
~~~
Loud applause for yore splendid ballad-poem,
and good luck in the contest.
Love and hugs XXX Grampa King, Hugh R.
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HA HA HA wuvs ya grampa
mia is the grommet box, i am just her *SIL*
but i am quite the jevenile so thats why i'm here still.
i would much prefer clean comfort, that i honestly say,
but until we two can both behave, in the tower we must stay.
i was talking to AJ last night, the comments below do show,
she said that we can turn our castle bower into the party bungalow
man oh man, the fun we will have drinking scocth and wine,
eating grapes with all our mates, it really will be fine.
but alcahol and us 2 grandawts really do not mix,
i dread to say by the next day we will be back to being twits
loves ya grampa Til
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Good one Til
HAHAHAHA OH my Til,
You and Mia have been naughty again! Didn't you both learn from the last time with the pink booties?
Do you really want to have your Bower in the Tower? EWWWWWW
You both are 
But it's sooooo funny I can't help laughing!
Good luck dear CUZ!
Love Jen.
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oh mia and i are always naughty. thats why ya'l love us lol the bootie incident was nothing, you should have seen us after we got into grampas scotch lol
Til
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EWWWWW not on your nelly!
Hey Til,
it's great to see you back and entering the huguenauties contest. I enjoyed your poem very much.
I had a big giggle reading your poem, yeah! You and Mia always have been getting into mischief, even when you both used to enter before. I'm glad you've included Mia in your poem.
And even though I said "Enough's enough!" and Queen Edna says you must stay there! and Yem says you have to cop your punishment! Surely if you seek council with the King he'll rescind the orders and allow the both of you the chance to decorate your Bowers and not let you live in the smelly old tower.
You and Mia are my real Niece's and you are DHOH (Deputy head of harem) which is an important position and I can't have you turning up to meetings smelling the way you do.
And Mia is MOCCAW (Mistress of Castle colours and wardrobe)How can she make up costumes for our guest's? But, before you both come to visit me in my Bower make sure you both clean yourselves up!
But! If it's what you want! YOU GOT IT!
Love Aunty Joan
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thanks a bunch AJ
do you think we could keep both our bower and our cell? we are happy in our cell, us naughty things are quite at home there, but it would be nice to have a shower once or twice, and also, a few strobes, strategically placed lights, a good stereo and in place of a kitchen, a bar we could have mad parties in the castle bower, oh think of the mischief we could get up too lol.
loves ya til
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Of course you can Til coz you'll need showers when we have official work to do, yes, yes and yes to all requests.
Love AJ
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phantabulous
loved it lol. good to see another entry from you girl. its been a while! ages actually.
this group seems like a load have fun. good luck in the contest.
tash
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thanks phantasia. it has been AGES! lol. the group is tonns of fun but it has been soooo long for me and i have missed soooo much
but i will get back into it lol
*hug Til
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