All of us at one point need a little time
to cry, laugh, read, think or make a little rhyme
I never thought that I could have some space to call my own
My paradise to think of things or have a little moan
It would be far away from any person who would pry
I could get there secretly so I would not have to lie
I wish that my place could have waterfalls and flowers outside
It would be a beautiful castle with a forest alongside
I think this place exsists only in my mind
But I know there are other dreams much like my kind
So if I have a trouble, and it won't pass me by
I'll take a little trip to my castle in the sky
A contest entry
- Ages 13 and Under ONLY - Amaze us with your talents! by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended March 7, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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take me with you!
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This was really cool, I liked the images it provided in my head. Even a girl as dark as me kind of wants a beautiful castle. =D
Really good, I love it. -
this is a nice read all the way throughout the piece. You have done well with the rhyme too. This really is lovey and has good images in it nice job! and good luck in the contest
love and light,
Blaze
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ooh, there's such a soft and beautiful feel to this poem
I like the way you worded this, and captured the important things of life (dreams) within well done!
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Hey I thought this was wonderfull, it was the most amazing poem I have seen yet
You are so creative at writing poetry you know, I hope you get a place in this wonderful
and most very very very very very very very fun contest, luvs Gem "
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Thankyou!
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Your castle in the sky sounds beautiful and blissful even if it exists only in your mind
The imagery is lovely the language you use is very descrptive. I think the rhyme and flow is flawless. I also like the green font and blue background but it is just a little bit hard to read but I highlighted it so it wasn't a problem for me Good luck in the contest
ellie x
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Thanks for commenting Ellie!
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Thankyou very much Ellie!
Unfortunatly for this backround it was hard to find a good font colour, I am sorry you had to highlight it.
Laura x
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Bravo...
Oh how we all need our own little space in time whether that be a shack near the boondocks or a castle in the sky, just a lovely space our very own.
I love this methodically rhythmic muse, very cleverly ascribed (I must say).
Regards, ~Milly
http://www.myspace.com/lily4quill
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Thanks alot Milly!!
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Wonderfully done!
This is great! You've done a great job with your rhyme scheme here and it is a well done piece. It takes the reader into its folds and keeps them. I enjoyhed this piece very much. Bravo!
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Thankyou, it is always good to hear the contest holder likes your entry!!
Laura
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