It's late at night
I sit alone
these paper tears
I can't condone
I have no reason
to feel this pain
these paper tears
flow down like rain
I scrawl the words
that clutter my mind
the peace of God,
impossible to find
I'm letting myself
feel so helpless
I'm letting myself
feel so helpless
my heart's in shambles
It's early morning
the quiet dark
I'm kept awake
by a pain filled heart
I feel alone
no soul to hold
cause I've found out
I don't have my own
A contest entry
- how.dare.you? by CarCrashHumor.
530 points, ended December 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, changed the last line.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
awww. this is sad. loved it
-
The rhyming is very good in this piece. a lot of people find it hard to put a poem together just right when rhyming cause they have a tendency to force it but this piece was well written and i have nothing negative to say... Bravo
-
I really liked this.
I usually don't adore rhyme scheme,
but in this is was different.
<3
-
I really like this poem. It has really good flow. I also love the name of it. Thats actually why I clicked on it instead of another one. I also like all the emotion that you put into this poem in only a few stanzas.
-
wow. this is amazing! i relly like it. you have talent.
SouthernComfort15 a.k.a. chel -
this is awsome
a great poem
very powerful
welldone n goodluck -
Wow...
This is amazing! I love the emotion you put into it and the wording is great!
This is truley an amazing poem!
It's late at night
I sit alone
these paper tears
I can't condone
I have no reason
to feel this pain
these paper tears
flow down like rain
This is my favorite part because I can relate to it!
Well this is a great poem and I'm off to read more of your poetry!
♥ Natalie
-
This is truely great writing on your part.You portrayed what a person who suffers from depression feels so well.I should know I have suffered with major depression for about 30 years.You did great.good luck on this contest and I sincerly hope that you too are not suffering from it.
-
Its a pretty write,alot of emotion feels poured into it and the wording you use seems expresive,good job and i love it
-
i like this one as well. you have a way with words and you know how to express them. Good job.
-
This is amazing. You get you thoughts across without ruining the flow [which is very hard for me]. Good job. Keep writing!
-
amazing
i told you how i feel about this earlyer but wow.. this is amazing robby. This is just touching my heart every time i read it. you have real talent and i hope this idea of a band works out. With both of our imput on lyrics... we could be the kewlest band ever lol... ttyl.. still loving it
Jessica
-
this sounds so beaatiful to me. I really like this too.
<3
suicidal-revenge
-
i think this is lovely and flows really well
-
oh my gosh, i really like that...your really good at writing poetry....you should read mine l8erz.
-
great
I really like this poem, I like the paper tears. -
"It's early morning
the quiet dark
I'm kept awake
by a pain filled heart"
yeah, so this was like [w0w]!!!
great write! -
aww thanks I like hte idea of this right, I sort og imagine these paper tears fallign from someones eyes shedding words and poems before them
I agree with crash about the last line fix that and you have yourself a very sound poem 
never stop writing!
moonshine
xxx -
this has an amazing flow, the rhythm was flawless, until the last line--
I think something like
"'cause I've found out
I don't have my own."
or something... because I really liked the rest of it! just the last line I'd say needs a bit fixing up. you're a good writer! =]]
-crash
-
good
i like this is is nice, it all flows great.
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
