A dark shadow comes to attack.
I run into a wall frantically.
A dream, thats all, as a matter of fact.
Hey, fear...Set me free!
I walk down a quiet street.
A dog comes from behind a tree.
Now seeing a dog, my heart skips a beat.
Hey, fear...Set me free!
Being thrown across the room.
Covering up bruises so they don't see.
I can't tell anyone, I asume.
Hey, fear...Set me free!
My mom and I sit on a couch.
I snuggle up to her and she rejects me.
Not again, hurt feelings, ouch.
Hey, fear...Set me free!
I would appreciate your feedback, (please)
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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The repitition of, "Hey, fear...Set me free!" helped the words to hit home.Your words are powerful,and filled with so much emotion and pain.Actually,your write brought tears to my eyes and it was your last stanza that did it...
My mom and I sit on a couch.
I snuggle up to her and she rejects me.
Not again, hurt feelings, ouch.
Hey, fear...Set me free!...
I felt your pain of rejection, how could a mother be like this,how can she not comfort her child??? I just don't understand how a mother can do this,I guess I never will.I am so sorry that you have had to endure this life,it's not right, but at least you survived and it sounds like you are a strong woman.Keep penning your thoughts as writting poetry is great therapy for the soul.You have written this piece so well and have tugged at the heart strings of all the readers.A very heart felt write indeed!
I send to you many beautiful blessings of love and happiness.
Take care, Your Friendly AP Angel,
~Angel-Anne~
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you are a great writer and thankyou for you compliments too
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awesome poem.. loved it lots!!!!
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This goes deep.. The repeation of the last line in each verse really sets the mood of this rather traumatizing poem.. Fear at times seems to be our ememy and it is a song that I at times to often sing..
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WOW, This is so sad, this poem touched me very much, I can sympathize with what you are going through. Sometimes we all wish that fear would set us free. Your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully, well done dear poet
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Wow...!
I really dug that. My own Mum rejected me. Read my poem "Mum" to see what I mean, it's not too long and boring. That's what I liked about your poem here, it's nice and short and to the point. Bloody good stuff. From me, that's high praise, I assure you, as I don't generally like reading other people's stuff, especially if it's over nineteen lines!
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A wonderful prayer. X
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oh wow
i was very touched by this poem
especially the last verse
"My mom and I sit on a couch.
I snuggle up to her and she rejects me
Not again, hurt feelings, ouch."
my mum has never been a very sentimental person, dont get me wrong she's a great mum and i love her with all my heart but being a very sensitive and emotional person myself, it could be so hard when all i needed was a hug and no one would give it to me
filled with anguish and pain yet there are flickers of hope "Set me free!"
thank you princess dove and thankyou for your kind comments xxxx babi
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Awesome
I like the lines "Hey, fear...Set me free!" I think it's well writen. It's easy to relate to, as well.
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This poem is beautifully written, I love the style you choose to write in. Very simple but very strong, the words sometimes hit so hard, like a hammer to the head.
And I relate to it, as many people would.
Well done
XxX
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I really like this poem. So heartwelming and I really liked it. Great Write
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Hi!
Princess!
Was that kinda nightmare? Never mind!
I like the repeating line of:
(Hey, fear...Set me free!)
Well rhymed with all four stanzas.
You did a nice job!
Lucid!
Take care!
Scarzat
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ok
this poem was ok.. i would be lying if i say that this is your best.. the better and best writes are yet to come... keep writing pal..
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ouch is right... Well, i like this, the repetition isn't necessary to me anyway..i find that hey, fear..set me free is GREAT but perhaps you could have said it only once, like at the end..i just feel it would have left a bigger impact on the reader.. however this is a great write none the less...keep up the great work!
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Wow! Great Job! I like the whole pattern and everything.
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Nice. I love it. I so agree with "Hey,fear...Set me free!"It proves a point that bad stuff happens or stuff you don't want.
I feel like I can relate to it keep up the excellent work. -
princess dove, this is a lovely poem you penned here. Your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully throughout the entire poem, well done dear poet
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Very Heart felt Very real
Thank You for such an Excellent write
I am still wiping my tears. you are so very talented.
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Very nice write!
Wow! This is a great poem. You've expressed the pain, and emotional hurt that your mother has caused for you in this nicely. I think I, as well as many other people, can relate to this all too well. No human being deserves to live through that, and I'm sorry that you did.
The repitition of, "Hey, fear...Set me free!" really made your piece stronger, and helped the words to hit home. Your rhyme scheme was perfect, and helped the poem flow together nicely. Great write! I hope to read more from you soon. Take care; I hope that that things get better for you.
~Manic
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nice...
I really like how your rhymes made this poem flow so well. Good job. -
Powerful......strong words and a great write.
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Yes, very good flow. Repetition works wonderfully well again. "I snuggle up to her and she rejects me" is a strong line that speaks of vulnerability and rejection in a distant, objective way and that's why I think it is a particularly effective verse.
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I can so relate to your poem. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I wish that I could make it all go away. Great emotion and flow
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Thank You so much for the feedback on my poem. Thank you for showing that you care! you helped me.
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