The voice I hear
it speaks - it sings to me
of loneliness and
moon-washed dunes
A cracked and sun-dried land
she sleeps through day
weeps at night
pregnant
with shifting sand
erasing my passage
keeping her secrets
close to her heart
It is Time she holds
cradling hope
loosing fear
demeaning death
redeeming me
I demand
nothing
gain nothing
My eyes are wiser
opened to
a void
a slumber
a waking dream
The past in present's shade
tentative title, unedited, possibly unfinished
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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'erasing my passage' - you've got a lot of really wonderful lines in this write. Also, your imagery is especially strong, something I appricate in poetry. The final stanza is particularly well written, I loved 'a void/ a slumber/ a waking dream' - dreamlike indeed, the entire poem has a surreal whimsy to it. Great write!
Best to you,
Crestfallen
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thank you. glad you enjoyed it.
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cradling hope
loosing fear
losing*?
interesting read. i like how you seemed to personify memory....or a memory...i dont know...in any case though, makes it extremely sad.
she sleeps through day
weeps at night
pregnant
with shifting sand
erasing my passage
keeping her secrets
close to her heart
(WOW)
beautiful beautiful beautiful. loved it!!
Blu
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ah, you asked the question I knew someone was going to ask!
'loosing fear' - in that fear, when felt, feels wrapped around you, confining even. in this, instead of 'losing' fear (which would almost be the same thing), 'loosing' fear seems to give the [female subject] of the poem a control over the narrator's fear, 'loosing' it to drift away instead of simply discarding it or 'losing' it.
I love it when you read my poems. you always seem to actually read them and try to get inside them, the same way I read a poem.
thank you for reading and commenting. it's always a pleasure seeing you on my pages
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This is another beautiful write.
"It is Time she holds
cradling hope
loosing fear
demeaning death
saving me"
This was my favorite. I guess because in the things I have gone through, I have learned that it is best to let time have its own way. Nothing changes or stops it, it only changes and stops us...in it's own time. I found comfort in that.
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it's funny that the very thing that seperates humans from each other (time/space) is also the great equalizer. in the end, we all run out of time.
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Absolutely Beautiful
I never seem to have much to say about what I read. Kyew this is breathtaking.. I love every word. Nice to see you writing again my friend.
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thank you and you know I never required a comment
but what you've said is perfect. it tells me you enjoyed it and I'm happy you did 
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Hmmmmm ...
Interesting ... Very very interesting ...
Deep, thought-provoking, very good visceral write ...
I'll come back when I am sober and re-read this and see if I still have the same opinion as I do right now drunk ...
Stay safe
~Amanda
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lol, no worries. you probably got as much out of it drunk as there was to get. thanks for reading.
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Yeah, does it for me; it reminds me of someone and something I read the other day about love only being true when it loves more than it's loved. Demanding nothing, gaining nothing, this must be pure love!
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I've often thought about love in the way of trying to find a concrete definition of that concept. the more I search, the more I'm convinced that love is definable only by the person it's applicable to at that time. but, as far as I'm concerned, I agree with you - love is not something used to tie chains to another person. it should be a thing given without concern or expectation. it should be given with no hope of having it returned. it should be a gift.
thanks for reading
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i absolutly love the last line... i mean the whole peice is good but that last line really makes it pop!
well done and keep it up
Dana
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thanks for reading. glad you enjoyed.
going back to bed now
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