However many ships may come, flowing
in from the isles, inlets, and straights,
over the dreamy smile, they will not be welcomed
by the man with the feathered rod.
Cold, impassive tides crash against the ageless
rocks; the shapeless, jutting perennials
hold out stern, placing beauty afront,
that hold a tear in scented wafts of November,
and fog.
Author notes
Thank you for reading. Feel free to interperet, analyze, critique, etc.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Filled with images that are very clear - we all know how thinck fog can get and how dangerous it can be to ships coming close to rocky shores.
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Great write... the imagery was beautiful... I could clearly see everything you wrote... Great write!!!
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Your imagery is strong in the poem and leaves the mind with a picture of oceans and sand. It was a lovely read. In the second line, the spelling for the word you're looking for is strait. I cannot find any other critique for this poem. It is a simple yet intense poem and can't find much else wrong.
All the best for your poetry,
JHas6107
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Lovely. Great imagery, makes your reader think while allowing them to experience what you are experiencing.
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Short, yet this poem holds so much imagery in it, a pleasure to read, and imagine all that you have described. Beautiful.
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This is a brilliant piece of poetry. I love your imagery... it is flawless and amazing... I really have no critique for you... because... it's simply amazing
Great write, and thank you for sharing it
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A great piece of poetry!
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Quite an interesting write this is!
Short yet written with deserving lines
for the lines to support the theme ^^
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this is hauntingly beautiful and has an intriguing mystery about it. the language you use is excellent and the whole flow is really incredible, it takes on its own life somehow, beyond the punctuation; like waves. i read it a few times just to enjoy this flow of words and images. wonderful.
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A rather strange poem. The imagery is powerful, but it's difficult to decipher whether this is meant to be literal or metaphorical. Either way, though, I don't get the reference to the "dreamy smile" and who (or what) is the "man with the feathered rod?" Also, the word "perennials" normally refers to flowers, yet you seem to use the word in connection with rocks. Why?
One typo--"straights" should be "straits".
I like the "feel" of the poem--just wish I inderstood it better!
Cheers,
Bill
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wow
this was beautiful!
it touched me somehow, i can't explain it...
great write!
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Excellant/intriguing/unique
A rather strange write indeed. Don't know quite what to think of it. A dark, romantic poem, perhaps? I really don't know. Or maybe reflecting the struggles within as one grows towards self-acceptance? Anyway, I'll need to ponder over this one for awhile. It was well written with some unusual imagery.
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This makes me happy
I can taste the salty mist. Or is that... well. 
lmao.
Good job spermface.
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