I sit alone
My own little corner
Thinking.
Would anyone care....
If I shed a tear?
Would anyone care....
If I had everything to fear?
Would anyone care....
If I go stand in the dark?
Would anyone care....
If I left no mark?
I wonder-
And wonder
Till I become an empty,soulless....object.
Would anyone care....
At all?
Author notes
Would anyone truly care?
A contest entry
- whatever the fuck you want III by Nam.
345 points, ended March 29, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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"Till I become an empty,soulless....object." - there should be a space between the comma and "soulless".
You picked the wrong Contest to enter a double-spaced piece. I abhor double-spaced poems. I understand the reasonings for it but I just do not like them. I even have double-spaced poems (though they are very rare from me) and even though I wrote them that way, I don't like them much.
Plus, your rhyming at the end is really weak and seems a tad forced to finish out the piece. Could use some work.
I'm not judging this piece based on the double-spacing, I don't think that way, but, it doesn't help.
Also, you should really look up the word "Till", "Until" and "Till" are not the same word.
-Nam -
I care.
I may only be one person, But I'm one person that cares. This is an excellent poem. Worthy of five apllause things (But they don't have that many, So I'll give ya three.)
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wow. I think the most powerful part of this poem were the blank lines as they created an emptiness, sorta eerie feeling. hehe, really this was well done. It creates a dark mood surrounding that plagueing question of whether or not or presence in this world is valued to others. You express this well.. I think this part was sweet..
I wonder-
And wonder
I paused there as if I was actually wondering...
Great work!
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verygood
I am sure there is some one to care this is a sad poem
but nicely writen well done -
nice!!
wow, this is a really nice poem! I like it alot.. makes me think if I'ld be missed lolz
tough.. I think we all can name one person atleast that would miss us for me that would be my best friend
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Ah the age old question that plagues us. Will we be missed? Does anyone really care? Chances are more than you think. This reminds me of how lost in thought I get at work
A thought provoking poem.
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I found this an an amazingly powerful write. Just the question alone struck me. Just...amazing.
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The human mind inquires, what do they think?
Each of us wants to pierce the veil of unknowing. We seek to overcome our own condition of loneliness. This is human.
I like the shape of your poem, the message, the spirit of yearning, of wanting to know, to understand...
Yet only I have read it once. Maybe there is more mystery to be revealed.
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What a beautifully sad write,
Very deep depth of emotion and thoughts you have spilled out all over this page,
I care sooooooo much, but you have to tell me you are wandering in the dark, as I can't see in the dark...yet,
Love always,
Brenden xxx
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of course people would care..don't worry everything is okay..
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wow
beatiful poem my friend. i think everyone can relate to these feelings that you so greatly conveyed in this piece. you did an amazing job on this one.
never forget that there is always somebody who cares. i know that sometimes it doesnt feel like it, but there is always somebody out there that truly does care for you.
-alive
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i would
i would deffinatly care love..greta poem i really like it
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i think this is a very thoughtful peice and it has lots of potential. because really its a feeling that all of us can relate to. but for some reason the flow seems a little off. i might have been distracted by the extra space between each line. but that is just me.
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Heartfelt
My beautiful loving Tigress this is a very beautifully penned poem full of heart and meaning. I do agree with the comment below that people do care I know I care and anyw ays this is just a very powerfully penned moving poem. very well penned and excellent work all round. good work and keep it up.
Love always, your Cutie aka Tiger
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There is always someone who cares
Whether visible or not, there is always someone who cares. Even those who are the most alone, there is always someone that cares about them. All one has to do, is look at those around them. A mere aquaintance can care more about you than even some of your closest friends. A deeply rooted love for others comes from a heart of compassion. Some try to hide it, others block it out or lock it away to keep from getting hurt by the reality of the world. Only those with enough courage to show it, will find themselves at the center of a thousand friends and love every one of them. Yet, also those thousand friends will be there for the one at the center, when the one needs encouragement and love.
anyway, nice write. I can feel your heart in it..
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wow, i really like this,its well written and i can deff relate to it, i've asked myself that question so many times. great write, keep it up, tc
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