I would have been your friend forever,
but romance, well that could be never.
I never said anything about loving you,
words from my heart, I have always been true.
I dont have the passion you have for me
that is something you knew could never be
You may not know where you went wrong
you thought we had a love that was strong.
but my heart beongs to another man
this I hoped you would understand.
Somehow my words where twisted,
into a desire that never existed.
With your kindness you had me flattered,
but true love to you was all that mattered.
now you have turned your love to hate
and enemies now, you did create
I wasn't even given a chance
just put into your dream of romance
then attacked for being your friend
something I would've been until the end..
I lost my ability to write.
I lost my reason to fight.
You broke my wings,
hatred is all my kindness brings.
I now stay in the shadows, hidden away,
and here behind a wall, without friends I will stay.
Author notes
Option 1- Titles
A contest entry
- Roses of Red and Broken Heats by TommyTRASH.
450 points, ended March 26, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Hi, I'm just doing a first reading and pointing out things that strike me as I go along.
in line seven: "You may not where you went wrong"
I believe that it is supposed to read:
"You may not know where you went wrong"
Other than that this is an excellent piece, that specifac line just reads awkwardly.
In this piece there is a lot emotion, including voidness, which myself, I find hard to express in Writings. This seems a heartfelt piece though and I enjoyed reading this work.
Good luck in my contest!!
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wow this makes me think of a situation i am in right now. there is this guy ryan who is in love with me beyond anything and im starting to hurt him just by talking to him because he says sometimes i act like i have feeling for him in that way when everyone knows im upset about the big break up i just had. and so i hurt him a lot and a lot of people are mad at me for being his friend its a hard situation to be in when one of your friends start to fall in love with you when you dont feel the same way. great write thank you for entering my contest.
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its ok but it left me a lil confused!
but thanks for entering! -
The emotion overpowers the flow of the poem. In some places I felt like it could have been written better, but the strong emotion that the poem was about acted like a band-aid... and fixed it up right. ^__^
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This is amazing, so full of emotion and truth. It's tough when something like that happens, I can relate! Great job! Good Luck
Shady Lane -
"somehow my words where twisted into a desire that never existed" Those words exactly capture the feelings of unrequited love, that feeling of seeing and hearing what we want to and not the reality. Great job.
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frank and fearless
love never cares odd ends at all. it always tries hard to live on soft stakes. love the life that dares to speak freely frankly and fearless too. verse emphasises the syllables of love -
Amazing.
Wow an amazing poem! You sure have a lot of talent, I really liked the way you've written it. My poems aren't even close to how good yours is. I will be around to read and comment more on your poems so until then take care, oh and good luck in the contest, with this great entry I'm sure you'll get a trophy!
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I would have been your friend forever
but romance, well that could be never
I never said anything about loving you
words from my heart, I have always been true.
I dont have the passion you have for me
that is something you knew could never be
You may not where you went wrong
you thought we had a love that was strong.
but my heart beongs to another man
this I hoped you would understand.
Very emotional and sad...It is sad that such a great friendship could end over something so trivial...I hope that he comes around and realizes that he made a big mistake
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This makes me want to give you a hug. It is different then the kind of love poems most people write, because it is coming from the person regecting love. It is really good and super big air hug.
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I think there are many who will relate to these words. I believe it is always more important to be a friend and if love develops and then goes wrong a friend I still will be....sadly some people cannot work like this and when it turns to hate ...it is a fine line between love and hate. You have penned a sad but honest poem The lines flow well full of expressive emotional imagery. Now you are the one to pay which is so wrong. The innocent it seems always pay. Thank you Good luck in the contest.
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This poem it is very heart felt. great job
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this is so beautiful! i think this is absolutely WONDERFUL. i can't even describe it. this is too lovely. GREAT job keep up the good work!
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Dear friend,
Broken wings is a good poem about friendship.Friendship flourish where there is no mutual exploitation. To be friend to exploit romance and all other thing is not on sound footing. Soon it will slump like a building on clay, which you brought out vividly in your poem. Thanks for sharing..Thanks also for your gesture on showering praise on my poem..Thank you
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