Heartbeats increase as
Light from your eyes feeds my soul~
Sustenance of life.
Author notes
S a b a S o p h i y a
Picture Prompt::
http://borissov.deviantart.com/art/Grandma-Seker-II-38811527
A contest entry
- Eyes -picture prompt contest by micaelalseth.
1100 points, ended November 21, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I really love the title and concept of this! However, in line two I think you mean "Light from your eyes FEEDS my soul." Amazing depth in this Senryu
-
-
Thank you for your sincere appreciation of my work. And yes, I have corrected my careless error in the second line. Thanks for pointing it to me, and helping me revise it constructively.
Take care, Sophie
-
-
Nicely done. Nice Imagery for a Haiku. You said alot in a few words. I enjoyed it immensely.
-
nicely written. i cant write a haiku. great write....i really like it. keep writting.
lissa
-
A love poem. Most of them would sound cliche so I WAS curious to find out how it would sound in a haiku.
I can say that I'm not disappointed and that's saying something because I hate love poems. A great write filled will love.
All the best and keep writing
Never ♥
-
Wonderful!
Deep, thought-provoking, short and pure...Congratulations on writing such a refined piece of literature!
-
I see my khaahar joon is getting master in writing haikus. Afarin to you since the result of your talent is always something delightful! And now I see you gave us another lesson of life and love. Yeah, it’s always great to come across your page. Keep on versifying your tender thoughts and thank you for sharing with us :-)
~Massy~
-
Well written haiku, traditional with just the right amount of syllables and that aha moment in the last line. Sounds nice when read out loud as well.
-
has impact..nice
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
