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Shifting Sands ...-

 

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These days endured of shifting sands,

Moved by the winds of changing times,

The drifting dunes to many lands,

Where we can hear echoes and chimes.

 

Loud echoes death, for soldiers true,

Soft chimes the faith of innocence,

On seashores waves, erase, renew,

Relinquish none, its arrogance.

 

Oh where does breath of reason breathe?

Pray tell the light of darkness dim?

It seems we let our angers seethe,

Our chances small, now very slim.

 

Must all men die to circumvent,

These gusty winds with sand they play?

Exist it seems just to torment,

Small grains of man then blown away.

 

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Shifting Sands ...

Wandika 2-19-2007

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Touchof1der silver member
    February 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Must all men die to circumvent,
    These gusty winds with sand they play?
    Exist it seems just to torment,
    Small grains of man then blown away.

    There is a lot of impact within the lines here but those ones above just seemed to cap it all off perfectly. This was quite the thought provoking piece from beginning to end and you maintained it well.

    Thank you for taking the time and effort to enter my contest. Good luck!
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • suseann
    February 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of Dylan's song,'Blowin in the Wind" for some reason. It speaks to me as it might be saying that man needs to realize wars only cause lose.Whatever it's metaphoric message. It's a smooth emotional piece skillfully written.~~Suseann


  • Orual
    February 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love all your sand imagery and the poem flows very well. It's deep, yet straight forward enough that line by line analysis isn't necessary. I appreciate that. The only grievence is your lack of punctuation, which leaves some unneeded ambiguity. In the last stanza, the first two lines seem like a question to me, but there is no question mark or period to tell me what you mean. Other than that, very good work.


    • Wandika gold member
      February 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      OK

      I have added more puctuation for those who prefer it. I sometimes leave it out because other contests dislike its use. Glad you found no other fault.

      Thank you,

      Jim


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Exceptional Poetry

    Wow. Jim, this piece speaks to every human on earth. I can't even pick out a favorite line or stanza for without the whole, the impact is lost. It just builds and builds. I finished this verse and simply wept. Wonderful wonderful wonderful. ~Pam

1 - 5 of 5