Play me your piano
As loud as you can
Help me forget
For a while who I am
Let the melodies
You so beautifully play
Lift my soul
And take me away
As the tune and pitch
Ring though so clear
I finally realize
I can't stay here
I look up once more
To see you face
Then suddenly
My heart starts to race
And though I know
This night won't last
It seems to me
I'm now a thing of the past
You play me
Seemingly to sleep
But in your mind
Doubts do creep
It looks like peace
At last I find
I wonder now
Do I cross your mind?
I care about you
More than I show
And now that I'm gone
You'll never know
You continue playing
Perfectly on track
As my song is ending
The scene fades to black...
A contest entry
- Darkness by RudeGirlxSkaKid.
440 points, ended March 8, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you like? What di you not like? Critical reviews please!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I'd call it an awesome piece of art for its melodious tone, skilful handling of the rhymes, the lyrical effect created through poetic devices, and the facility and ease wirh which the lines flow.
"Play me your piano
As loud as you can
Help me forget
For a while who I am".
The very start of the poem is fascinating. And as the poem moves forward, it shows the intensity of emotions that make it more ravaging:
"And though I know
This night won't last
It seems to me
I'm now a thing of the past."
Gorgeous write!
Rahi
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I love it!
Great read, I had to read it twice it was so beautiful! I enjoyed the theme of music, Its interesting how before the music starts, all you want is to be free, then when its playing, you realize it is the musician that you want. Beautiful. -
That is so wonderfully beautiful! I love the gentleness of it, as well as the musical element in it. Gorgeous!
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i love the song fade to black.. great poem, especially strong ending and beginning. i love music, you described some of the emotions i feel really well here. great imagery. thanks for sharing.
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Definately an interesting metaphor, I like the parallels of the piano playing to the emotions that you've expressed here. The poem has an overall good flow, which helps the reader through, and the easy read makes it easier to relate.
Nice write, well done.
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