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In Your Eyes

In your eyes
I see many things
Faerie dust, broken wings
In your eyes
I lust and control
I know you will someday sell your soul
In your eyes
I see love
Looking up at the stars above
In your eyes
I see hate
Your beauty falling at a fast rate
In your eyes
I see me
And everything I wish to be

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • NooNiThEWitcH
    March 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice. I like how you see many things in "my eye" lol.
    I would rather your put your option number in your author's comment, but I will still leave you a commentary.
    I would suggest that you put a space or an empty line between each idea or thought. For example:
    "In your eyes
    I see many things
    Faerie dust, broken wings

    In your eyes
    I lust and control
    I know you will someday sell your soul"

    Nice flow, and thank you for writing and entering in my contest. Good luck!
    Nooni


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i think you wrote this very well. i wish you the best of luck in this contest that you have entered and in the relationship of which you speak. viyanna rosemarie